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Heart Beats

I gather my thoughts but run with a narrative of thinking I don't know what's wrong or why my heart flutters in my chest There's no mystery whatsoever, lists could be made, questions could be asked People say "that's a lot to deal with" But I feel so guilty, wanting to deal with any and everything in my stride - if I just acknowledged my right to be affected maybe... Even here, lay down - thinking into a poem I want to turn on my heel and run. Maybe that's the thud thud thud in my chest bpm 105 and rising - I used to have a resting heartbeat of about 68, now I'm running invisible marathons Too much information - plagued by data. I should just know I'm resting now. Nothing else needs doing

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Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 10/23/2023 2:58:00 PM

I've been there...full of anxiety and my bpm rising....and running those invisible marathons to which you refer. I sometimes just try to dang hard, my mind and heart racing. I hope your situation improves. Hopefully, writing about it helps. Have a tranquil evening, Sara

Di11y Da11y
Date: 10/24/2023 12:04:00 AM

It did improve thank you Sara, I appreciate your kind words x

David Kavanagh

Date: 10/23/2023 12:23:00 PM

The emphasis here is definitely on stress, or indeed stress related Dilly, sorry I can’t offer any advice, other than perhaps a GP visit, hopefully bpm settles down, best wishes, David

Di11y Da11y
Date: 10/24/2023 12:03:00 AM

Are you suggesting I should cancel my Amazon order for a wearable gong, felt elfin shoes, 57 CDs for folk trance music, a faux fur fox stole (with "I'm not real" written on its irises and a tiny t shirt saying boom boom), black hair dye, black eye liner, red lip stick, 5 office wear ball gowns, a satchel and a rocking chair?

David Kavanagh
Date: 10/23/2023 1:34:00 PM

Test the water with your big toe first Dilly, might be a shock to the system ;-)

Di11y Da11y
Date: 10/23/2023 1:22:00 PM

It's entirely an appropriate reaction in this instance. Also GPs are just drug pushers and I'd rather figure out getting a handle on myself naturally. I need to get back on my somatic dancing and gong bathing - I'm reaching an age where I can start to properly embrace being eccentric, I'm sure eccentricity will work beautifully if I go all in :)

Silent One

Date: 10/23/2023 10:54:00 AM

You explain the affects of anxiety so well.. only a person who goes through this could write it in this way.. I hope you find a way to deal with it..

Di11y Da11y
Date: 10/23/2023 11:09:00 AM

Thank you