Lin Lane Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

He Was Not With Me

We stood on a beach of white sand, on a beautiful tropical isle.
I held my daughter's hand in mine. We shared a knowing smile.
There were no words spoken. We knew what was left unsaid.
Our voices surely would've broken, so we shared a hug instead.

No father to walk with her today; no strong arm to keep her steady.
I was the one who'd give her away. "Mom," she said, "I'm ready."
Then we felt a gentle breeze, ruffling the hem of her chiffon dress.
It rustled through palm leaves,  soft and sweet as a lover's caress.

An orchestral wedding march became music with each rushing wave.
Romantic lighting from tiki torch, to her groom, my daughter, I gave.
A golden sunset cast its light, as the happy couple whispered, " I do."
It was quite a charming night, beside still waters of turquoise hues.

A moments respite from the fray, I sat with my daughter alone.
"Mom, I wish Dad had been here today." A tear of sorrow was sown.
"So do I, my darling. I miss him, too. Right now he'd be so carefree,
on the dance floor with you. He's not here so come, dance with me." 

She wore a smile, for a while, then I saw her walk out the door.
My little girl, no longer a child,  said, "Hi Daddy, this is Eleanor."
Time to put away her denial, and whisper her last 'goodbyes.'
Daddy walked her down the aisle, when he sang her lullabies.


~ Internal and Ending Rhyme Schemes ~
There are no rules for the number of lines or syllables per line.
I especially like this double form of rhyming because of its
challenge to rhyme in the middle and at the end of each line.
Example for each verse:   a b
                                      a b
                                      c d
                                      c d


Lin Lane ~ Poetry Writing #1 Contest
         December 10th 2015
      Sponsor ~ Broken Wings

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Michael Tor December 19, 2015 at 5:21 AM Lin congratulations on your winning form. Touching and heartfelt write.

Dr. Upma A. Sharma December 18, 2015 at 9:34 PM Masterful write Lin.. lovely form ..congrats on top win! Lin Lane December 19, 2015 at 2:55 AM Thank you.

Skat A December 18, 2015 at 9:27 PM Lin, Congratulations on your sweet win Luv **SKAT** Lin Lane December 19, 2015 at 2:55 AM Thank you.

Poet Destroyer A December 18, 2015 at 9:13 PM Lin, CONGRATS ON YOUR WIN.... LINDA Lin Lane December 19, 2015 at 2:54 AM Thank you.

Eve Roper December 18, 2015 at 5:12 PM Wonderful write, heartfelt, Lin,Congratulations on your win! Hugs dear friend Eve Lin Lane December 19, 2015 at 2:54 AM Thank you, Eve..

Andrea Dietrich December 18, 2015 at 4:03 PM such a sad one but so beautifully written. Yes, I love this kind of rhyming too!! Lin Lane December 19, 2015 at 2:53 AM Thank you.

Beautiful Scars December 18, 2015 at 3:02 PM Congrats Lin on your win!! *smiles* -luloo :) Lin Lane December 19, 2015 at 2:52 AM Thank you.

Janice Canerdy December 18, 2015 at 2:25 PM Beautiful and poignant! Congrats--Janice Lin Lane December 18, 2015 at 2:36 PM I appreciate the congrats, Janice.

Jan Allison December 18, 2015 at 2:03 PM oh this brought a tear to my eye Lin - I do love writing with rhyme too but have learned so many new styles since i joined soup:-) hugs jan xx Lin Lane December 18, 2015 at 2:36 PM Thanks, Jan. There are so many I've never heard of, but I'm willing to try them.

Emile Pinet December 11, 2015 at 9:24 AM Your descriptive wording, rhyme scheme, and use of sullen imagery brought it all to life with clarity and grace. Emile. Lin Lane December 11, 2015 at 9:31 AM Another lovely detailed box of compliments. Thank you for all of them, Emile.

CayCay Godwin December 10, 2015 at 5:13 PM I have written this form and it is difficult, but fun and makes such a good poem. You did a great job. I enjoyed this very much, Lin ... CayCay Lin Lane December 10, 2015 at 5:18 PM Thank you, CayCay.. not easy but I love the challenge..Thanks for coming over to read.

Beautiful Scars December 10, 2015 at 4:27 PM So....here I am in Michigan, USA, and I can feel your tender love wherever you live in this world. Beauty and lovely Lin...You are blessed with such talent and grace...Be blessed... *smiles* Lin Lane December 10, 2015 at 4:38 PM I'm in New Orleans.. way down SOUTH! and thanks for the compliment.