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He Was My Sun

He was my sun, my one and only son, attired as a cowboy for the day. And so I handed him a little gun of fastened random sticks, for him to shoot and play. Attired as a cowboy for the day he searched for foes (with bows and arrows made of fastened random sticks for them) to shoot, and play the part of ‘Injuns’ in a mock charade. He searched for foes (with bows and arrows made) well written in his story books before he left for school. The parts of ‘Injuns’ in a mock charade were tainted with a crimson war paint, oh so cruel. Well writ in history books before he left from school, the tales (retold of victories that we’d won) were tainted with a crimson war paint, oh so cruel. The flow of paint was not to staunch when once begun. From tales retold of victories that we’d won, he learned to fight for God and country glory, though the flow of pain, ’twas not to staunch when once begun and bane to both sides (as he’d later come to know). He learned to fight for God and country glory, though the wounds of war were kept unseen (while nigh) and bane to both sides (as we’d later come to know); but still he stuffed a duffel bag with several things of youth, then said goodbye. The wounds of war were kept unseen. While nigh, the hours boomed, the clock struck 12 at last, his time to leave. But, still, he stuffed a duffel bag with several things of youth, then said goodbye to those who’d stay and even those who wouldn’t grieve. The hours boomed, the clock struck 12 - alas, his time to leave. They sent back body bags they’d stuffed with severed things of those who’d died to those who’d stayed. And even those who wouldn’t grieve with tears were stiff and masked like wooden boxes meant to hide. They sent back body bags they’d stuffed with severed things of those who’d died; his boots hung loose, one camouflaged in mud. With tears, the stiff were masked in wooden boxes meant to hide our children from the spilling of their blood. His boots hung loose, one camouflaged in mud; they said they’d needed him to help defend our children from the spilling of their blood. But can they ever see or really comprehend? They said they’d needed him to help defend, and so they handed him a little gun. But can they ever see or really comprehend? He was my sun, my one and only son.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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12
Date: 2/17/2016 4:45:00 PM
Your imagery brings my soul into your poem. Well written
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Date: 2/11/2016 1:40:00 PM
Brilliant work of rhyming and story telling. Compelling!
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Date: 2/11/2016 1:23:00 PM
Your excellent choice of the Pantoum form brought forth an innocence of youth that moved to fateful future, from the use of playful to the use of poignant repetition, that melded with the theme - play can lead to mortality one day and it leaves us with a silence of knowing with despair. It could bring wounded worriers to tears.
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Date: 2/11/2016 1:22:00 PM
Fantastic work. We Irish seem suited to the task of poetry.
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Date: 11/4/2015 7:44:00 AM
Powerful - thanks for sharing.
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Terry O'Leary
Date: 11/6/2015 6:12:00 AM
Thank you, Julia... I've read and enjoyed several of your poems... unfortunately, comments have been turned off...
Date: 11/2/2015 2:14:00 PM
such a moving story many congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx
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Terry O'Leary
Date: 11/6/2015 6:15:00 AM
Thank you, Jan!
Date: 11/2/2015 11:47:00 AM
Terry, awesome win. SKAT
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Terry O'Leary
Date: 11/6/2015 6:15:00 AM
Thank you, Skat!
Date: 11/2/2015 10:40:00 AM
Congratulations in your win.
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Terry O'Leary
Date: 11/6/2015 6:13:00 AM
Thank you, Nayda
Date: 11/2/2015 10:23:00 AM
my, i like this form but it is so challenging!... you did this so effortlessly, teary.. big congrats
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Terry O'Leary
Date: 11/6/2015 6:13:00 AM
Thank you, Nette!
Date: 7/4/2015 11:46:00 PM
Terry, CONGRATULATIONS, on having your poem featured on the soup's home page. Enjoy the coming week. Take Care ~SKAT~
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Terry O'Leary
Date: 11/6/2015 6:14:00 AM
Thank you, Skat!
Date: 7/18/2014 8:29:00 AM
Dear Terry - Without new fodder I had to go back. Of course my pointer found the saddest one. Plastic cowboys and Indians seemed so benign to a four year old. No excuses now, bows to missiles. love you, Kathy
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Date: 5/25/2013 4:03:00 AM
How movingly sad....who can justify this???? This is happening daily where I live....very heart wrentching piece.
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Date: 5/6/2013 11:34:00 PM
WOW! You have touched me yet again with your fabulous writing skills. I love how you took the make belief of cowboys and Indians to the real world of war and blood shed. You've mastered this difficult form to a tee and brought it back full circle with ease. Faving this one!
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Date: 4/11/2013 5:43:00 PM
Amazing form you've mastered here and the story cut to the bone. You put me on an emotional rollercoaster with everything you write Terry. Luv, Lizzie
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Date: 1/20/2013 11:56:00 AM
This is very beautiful. I would like to learn how to write in the form you used.
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Date: 12/15/2012 8:15:00 PM
This is very sad, but yet awesome. Very good write.
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Date: 12/14/2012 1:00:00 AM
Amazing write Terry! The devastation war causes continues to wreak havoc in families. It’s ironic ‘they’ say that they need to protect the children and yet it is the same children they send out to fight a war in the guise of keeping peace. Very well written poem. I love how you’ve used the form to tackle an ever growing atrocity.
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Date: 12/7/2012 8:28:00 AM
Wow, very nice Terry.
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Date: 12/6/2012 6:14:00 PM
very provacative, the THEY don't care we are just pawns, cannon fodder..it's beyond sad..great write... Light & Love
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Date: 11/20/2012 6:24:00 PM
The pain in my heart has left me blank...Very well written...Geez!
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Date: 11/19/2012 9:56:00 PM
Awesome words Terry,,,, is this truly you and yours ? My tears rolled around the 7th stanza,, I think these very thoughts as I read or see " WAR" of any period in man's history. All for a piece of dirt,, but they still stand " tall". Sad but awesome write ,,,,,,,
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Date: 11/12/2012 7:59:00 PM
well penned. Terry....very touching story.....luv.
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Date: 11/11/2012 1:12:00 PM
This realy touched me. I think it will go down in soup history for the style you used. But the entire story told a story about life. Sadness met beauty in the end and mockery met wisdom.
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Date: 11/11/2012 1:07:00 PM
Touching
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Date: 11/11/2012 10:00:00 AM
beautiful, deep poem
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things