Kai Michael Neumann Poet Free verse

Have a Cuppa

We used to just have a cup of coffee

	Black

		Possibly with milk

			Maybe with sugar

Mostly on Sundays and with cream as a bonus


Today they call it caffe latte or cappuccino

	Americano for the purist

                From a fancy machine

			With intricate pads

Anytime everywhere all day long


Espresso and hard pressed for choice

	Salted caramel mocha

		Strawberry frappuccino

			Machiato or Mochaccino

Did the wallet grow with the taste


But the ultimate gimmick on the luxurious decadence scale

Chewed and spit out seeds collected for Monkey Coffee or

Kopi Luvak or palm civet beans basically half digested poop


For one hundred dollars a pound I volunteer to add enzyme

And flavour to mucus secretion purely organic and human

Free trade maximum wage and organically tested intestines


At a price I would consider to s(h)it in a greenhouse in Iceland

Or gaze at Taj Mahal Paddington Station or the Eiffel Tower

Volcanic eruptions with Ricinus oil are available at a surcharge


Gluten free habitat and vegan production site can be arranged

Hypo allergenic and guaranteed lactose tolerant for milky coffee

The crap has no limits and animal welfare comes at a premium


Ingenious and indigenous I vow to cater for all upper class smells

Calibrate flatulence and ingestion ablutions elimination and harvest

So you my dear customer can metaphorically kiss my solvent behind



Who says that one cannot turn faeces into money by milking some fools

09th January 2020

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Paul Callus January 19, 2020 at 9:31 AM I'm a coffee drinker, Kai, probably the amounts I have could classify me as a coffeeholic. I'm not impressed by the many choices, though. If out I order an Americano...at home I often make my own. Regards // paul

M. L. Kiser January 18, 2020 at 6:40 PM I grind my own beans, thanks. Kai Michael Neumann January 19, 2020 at 3:19 AM Another great idea without monetary reward then. I will keep trying. Kind wishes, Kai

Gershon Wolf January 11, 2020 at 8:58 PM What's next? -- Strawberry and Lime Puche-a-delic Bargorama?! (Hold the sugar). Enjoyed, Kai --- your poem, not the 'flavors!' :) gw Kai Michael Neumann January 19, 2020 at 3:12 AM It must be orange. I live close to Valencia in Spain now and there is an overwhelming abundance of them. Fortunately Vitamin C is water soluble, so I cannot overdose on all the juice I make. Kind wishes, Kai

Suzanne Delaney January 10, 2020 at 6:03 AM ‘ with room for cream” Good one Kai. I still haven’t mastered how to order exotically at Starbucks. My usual is a vente Americano with room. This one gives lots of ‘food for thought.’ Hugs, SuZ Kai Michael Neumann January 10, 2020 at 8:02 AM Thank you Suzanne. Fortunately I have recently moved to Spain, where the bars and restaurants serve regular coffee. Kind wishes, Kai

Susan Woodrow January 9, 2020 at 11:27 AM lol! this is so funny in its truth. The choices these days and so many connoisseurs of coffee! I'll be looking at half of what's offered in confusion while listening to a very intricate tall and grande order, that's not even on the board, but the server apparently has it!! lol :) Kai Michael Neumann January 10, 2020 at 5:38 AM Maybe it is not yet time to go on the stock market. Kind wishes, Kai

Lin Lane January 9, 2020 at 11:25 AM oh so very true...all of it. I was married to a man who was supposed to eat gluten free, and cooking was a chore. He came home with me to New Orleans, ate whatever he chose and never got sick. And food claiming to be organic? Wind born toxins are delivered to fields where ever the wind blows. I enjoyed your lines, Kai. Kai Michael Neumann January 10, 2020 at 5:34 AM Thank you Lin. Sometimes I set out to write silly poems and then they turn out rather serious. Too much coffee probably.