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Have a Cuppa

We used to just have a cup of coffee Black Possibly with milk Maybe with sugar Mostly on Sundays and with cream as a bonus Today they call it caffe latte or cappuccino Americano for the purist From a fancy machine With intricate pads Anytime everywhere all day long Espresso and hard pressed for choice Salted caramel mocha Strawberry frappuccino Machiato or Mochaccino Did the wallet grow with the taste But the ultimate gimmick on the luxurious decadence scale Chewed and spit out seeds collected for Monkey Coffee or Kopi Luvak or palm civet beans basically half digested poop For one hundred dollars a pound I volunteer to add enzyme And flavour to mucus secretion purely organic and human Free trade maximum wage and organically tested intestines At a price I would consider to s(h)it in a greenhouse in Iceland Or gaze at Taj Mahal Paddington Station or the Eiffel Tower Volcanic eruptions with Ricinus oil are available at a surcharge Gluten free habitat and vegan production site can be arranged Hypo allergenic and guaranteed lactose tolerant for milky coffee The crap has no limits and animal welfare comes at a premium Ingenious and indigenous I vow to cater for all upper class smells Calibrate flatulence and ingestion ablutions elimination and harvest So you my dear customer can metaphorically kiss my solvent behind Who says that one cannot turn faeces into money by milking some fools 09th January 2020

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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Date: 1/19/2020 9:31:00 AM
I'm a coffee drinker, Kai, probably the amounts I have could classify me as a coffeeholic. I'm not impressed by the many choices, though. If out I order an Americano...at home I often make my own. Regards // paul
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Date: 1/18/2020 6:40:00 PM
I grind my own beans, thanks.
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 1/19/2020 3:19:00 AM
Another great idea without monetary reward then. I will keep trying. Kind wishes, Kai
Date: 1/11/2020 8:58:00 PM
What's next? -- Strawberry and Lime Puche-a-delic Bargorama?! (Hold the sugar). Enjoyed, Kai --- your poem, not the 'flavors!' :) gw
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 1/19/2020 3:12:00 AM
It must be orange. I live close to Valencia in Spain now and there is an overwhelming abundance of them. Fortunately Vitamin C is water soluble, so I cannot overdose on all the juice I make. Kind wishes, Kai
Date: 1/10/2020 6:03:00 AM
‘ with room for cream” Good one Kai. I still haven’t mastered how to order exotically at Starbucks. My usual is a vente Americano with room. This one gives lots of ‘food for thought.’ Hugs, SuZ
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 1/10/2020 8:02:00 AM
Thank you Suzanne. Fortunately I have recently moved to Spain, where the bars and restaurants serve regular coffee. Kind wishes, Kai
Date: 1/9/2020 11:27:00 AM
lol! this is so funny in its truth. The choices these days and so many connoisseurs of coffee! I'll be looking at half of what's offered in confusion while listening to a very intricate tall and grande order, that's not even on the board, but the server apparently has it!! lol :)
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 1/10/2020 5:38:00 AM
Maybe it is not yet time to go on the stock market. Kind wishes, Kai
Date: 1/9/2020 11:25:00 AM
oh so very true...all of it. I was married to a man who was supposed to eat gluten free, and cooking was a chore. He came home with me to New Orleans, ate whatever he chose and never got sick. And food claiming to be organic? Wind born toxins are delivered to fields where ever the wind blows. I enjoyed your lines, Kai.
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 1/10/2020 5:34:00 AM
Thank you Lin. Sometimes I set out to write silly poems and then they turn out rather serious. Too much coffee probably.