Have a Cuppa

We used to just have a cup of coffee Black Possibly with milk Maybe with sugar Mostly on Sundays and with cream as a bonus Today they call it caffe latte or cappuccino Americano for the purist From a fancy machine With intricate pads Anytime everywhere all day long Espresso and hard pressed for choice Salted caramel mocha Strawberry frappuccino Machiato or Mochaccino Did the wallet grow with the taste But the ultimate gimmick on the luxurious decadence scale Chewed and spit out seeds collected for Monkey Coffee or Kopi Luvak or palm civet beans basically half digested poop For one hundred dollars a pound I volunteer to add enzyme And flavour to mucus secretion purely organic and human Free trade maximum wage and organically tested intestines At a price I would consider to s(h)it in a greenhouse in Iceland Or gaze at Taj Mahal Paddington Station or the Eiffel Tower Volcanic eruptions with Ricinus oil are available at a surcharge Gluten free habitat and vegan production site can be arranged Hypo allergenic and guaranteed lactose tolerant for milky coffee The crap has no limits and animal welfare comes at a premium Ingenious and indigenous I vow to cater for all upper class smells Calibrate flatulence and ingestion ablutions elimination and harvest So you my dear customer can metaphorically kiss my solvent behind Who says that one cannot turn faeces into money by milking some fools 09th January 2020