Happy

When I’m all alone I try to kill the thought of you Assuring myself You’re just a ghost passing through And now that you’re here with me I feel the need to soar and fly Only thing is: I’d much rather crawl away and die I don’t want to be happy I don’t want to fool myself I don’t want to feel the pressure Of putting on a heaven in hell I don’t want to be your angel I don’t want to face the growth I don’t want to be happy I don’t want the aching truth You never saw me in your stride As I smiled wide in my heavenly hide Believing in myself without a chance Not able to grasp this ghostly romance You smoked me like a cigarette Burning out my love, leaving butts of regret And all the time I laugh and smile As you see right through me all the while I don’t want to be happy I don’t want to live a lie I don’t want to feel your leisure As I crumple down to die I don’t want to disappoint you I don’t want to show and tell I just want to see you happy Just leave me in the dark to dwell