Angelica Tao Poet Free verse

Happiness

There is too much at stake to be depressed. 

So tonight, I am having happy thoughts. 

My family. 

My family will be there in the morning to greet me. 

With smiles, and breakfast, and small talk. 

Is this a memory?

Or a prediction?

Or a hallucination. 

Or...

Are we going to have that argument that destroys our relationship?

The one I’ve been having nightmares of?

I know how that one goes.

I didn’t do the dishes. 

Just like I didn’t do anything with my life. 

Then they tell me they don’t love me. 

Then I woke up. 

I must have fallen asleep. 

It is night after all. 

I’m mad because there’s too much at stake. 

Happy thoughts.

No sleeping, just happy thoughts.

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Paul Bell March 31, 2023 at 8:58 AM Fine balance between happiness and depression. Getting rid of the negativity is pivotal, and if that's the family, so be it.