Happiness

There is too much at stake to be depressed. So tonight, I am having happy thoughts. My family. My family will be there in the morning to greet me. With smiles, and breakfast, and small talk. Is this a memory? Or a prediction? Or a hallucination. Or... Are we going to have that argument that destroys our relationship? The one I’ve been having nightmares of? I know how that one goes. I didn’t do the dishes. Just like I didn’t do anything with my life. Then they tell me they don’t love me. Then I woke up. I must have fallen asleep. It is night after all. I’m mad because there’s too much at stake. Happy thoughts. No sleeping, just happy thoughts.