Hairspray
We arrived, it was 7 a.m.
Then I was just a small girl
I still don't know why it made her angry
I will never know why
She bashed my head into the sink
After undoing my braids
My head was flooded into icy cold water
My body heated up with hatred and fear
The visuals of her yanking and scrubbing
Remembering that nobody stood up for me
My cousins and sister
They watched tv in the other room
I was stripped naked, she was screaming
I was thrown into the shower
Still nobody stood up for me
And I always wondered
Why my mom put it in my hair, did she forget
How much my grandma hated hair spray?
Late that night
I should never have told my mother
From then on
Every day I was only fed
Chocolate donuts or fruit cocktail
My stomach still churns at the sight of either
Never will know why she did those things to me
She didn't do them to anyone else
I resented all of the the days that
I was stuck with nowhere else to go
My mother couldn't afford a babysitter
And off I would go, sent to her regardless
The irony is, I still wear hairspray
I love it, and not just because she hated it
I understand now
What I couldn't comprehend then
Hairspray doesn't destruct
Or tear people apart
It is made to keep something in place
Unlike her it offers stability
I may never
Eat certain foods again
And I may still cringe at times
When I see a certain knob on a sink
But when I feel like it, I do have
One thing I do that makes me smile
I will stand infront of a mirror
Braiding my long tresses
I smile and spray
Hairspray
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