Granny Doris Lives On

Granny Doris Lives On “There’s no such thing as rain in Tintagel”. That’s what my Granny Doris says. “It’s always lovely weather For grabbing a bag of pegs”. She ‘heave-ho’s’ wet laundry Into a basket wide, Then tugs and grumbles To drag it all outside. There’s no such thing as rain in Tintagel Enough to stop my Gran From hanging out the laundry With her wrinkly little hands. Even when it was raining- And obviously that was rare- She’d say “That drizzle’ll blow over”: Laundry was her only care. All was calm, all was bright, Until Colin came to visit one night. Colin was a hurricane Of gargantuan force, Sweeping across from America Wreaking havoc and making a mess. But poor Granny Doris, Intent on pegging out, Didn’t listen to the news And had no clue about: Colin the destroyer, Colin the big, bad storm. He’d blown the fence over And was ready for so much more. We drove against the storm To reach her on Atlantic Way, But as we opened the garden gate Socks, knickers and tights flew our way. Colin lifted Doris up in the air By billowing up her skirt. She waved a sheet which then unfurled, And blew her up further. Her little legs dangled As Colin swept her off. He took her out to sea And we’ve still not found her yet. They searched for days for Doris But find her, they never did. They only recovered her peg bag, But not a single peg. Then, days later, Mum Turned on the radio. The weather was announcing Another storm to come. And this is how I know That there’s life after death, ‘Cos STORM DORIS was on her way- The biggest hurricane yet! copyright Emily Joshua