Grandpa Ving
My great Grandpa Ving, he would eat anything
That he picked up in his misadventures.
He ate lots of snails with their heads and their tails,
Grinding their shells with his dentures.
Toenail clippings with cheese? He’d say, “Yes if you please!”
And he’d slurp them all down with abandon.
He’d go down to the bogs and eat live jumping frogs,
But he’d have to unslime and unsand them.
There were times that we thought the things that he ate
Weren’t as bad as they seemed.
For his birthday we fed him chocolate cake
And tuna fish ripple ice cream.
Well, we thought Grandpa Ving would eat anything
So we all became quite surprised.
He ran out in the street, screaming, “That I won’t eat!”
When we offered him burgers and fries.
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