Goofy Stuff
In her lifetime, a cow produces
Two hundred thousand glasses of milk
Wow, they must be total wrecks
After a hundred they must start to wilt
Your average domestic cat bombs along
At about thirty-one miles an hour
Especially if old family dog, Rover
Is attempting her hide to devour
Did you know that old George W. Bush
Was once a cheerleader in college
I'll bet your life is finally complete
Since I passed on that bit of knowledge
People spend over three and a half years
Whiling away life on the can
Headstones should be shaped like toilets
And also be equipped with a fan
There's a town in PA called Intercourse
I wonder what prompted the townsfolk
To call their town such a provocative name
Guess it was their idea of a joke
Studies show most Australian women
Will have sex on the very first date
Booking my ticket tomorrow morning
Heard their climate there is great
Seems the next place after the bedroom
Most people have sex in the car
I'm writing this poem from the back seat
Of my gorgeous Nissan GT-R
A thousand birdies die each year
From smashing headlong into windows
Sure not the smartest of God's little creatures
Just one step up from the minnow
Okay, just a bit more of this crazy talk
Then I really must take my leave
You lose weight by just smelling bananas
I find that quite hard to believe!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013
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