Goodbye, Saint Joseph's School -- Elton John

*Sung to the tune of Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.” Intended to be taken humorously. “When are you gonna grow up? It is in jail you will land You’ll have to stay after class And I’ll be talking to your old man” “You know you can’t hold me forever The last school bus is now due You can’t rap my knuckles with your ruler now Stand in my way and I’ll just run through So nah, nah, nah… “So goodbye, St. Joseph’s School Where the ‘Sisters of Mercy’ were cruel The Catholic school’s finally closing The lunchroom’s stopped serving gruel “I’m taking that bus, might never get off Don’t want to face my Dad’s wrath Oh, I’ve finally decided to free myself And set out on my own path So nah, nah, nah…” “How can you earn a living? You can’t even spell your name You’ll be required to take some remedial courses And stop playing silly head games” “Maybe you’ll get a new convent I hear there’s some room in Brazil Students there might appreciate A no-nonsense sister with a voice shrill So nah, nah, nah… “So goodbye, St. Joseph’s School Where the ‘Sisters of Mercy’ were crude The altar boys have been set free The priests are no longer lewd “I’d like to stay, watch them raze it The site with torture imposed Where skeletons still hide in the closets Nevermore to be exposed So nah, nah, nah…” *For John Heck’s “Dear John” contest. Those of us who attended St. Joseph’s just learned the school is being closed. Although a good education was provided, some students were beaten there repeatedly. I feel a good education was provided, but they went overboard with discipline.