Golden star child

Golden star child they say. The perfect kid they say. The smartest in class, the best in friendliness, Willing to help, and most importantly... The star child. "It's not true" I say to my friends, Being humble, I lower my head to people. "It hurts.." I say to myself when alone, Wishing it would stop. Everyday I would go to school, be happy. Smile and greet, be praised and decline. It's just all that. After a tired day, I train. Coach tells me my average is best in my grade. I'm happy and content, I thank the Coach for helping me to get here. But when I get home, I isolate. I go to my bed, rest and think about it. Then talk to my friends, The only friend I consider my real friends. "I'm lonely and weird" i say to them, "No you're the best person we've ever met." One says, "With great humor!" Another butts in, "And an amazing unhinged personality." Another, honestly speaking. "You may be weird but that's normal, everyone is unique" My best friend says. But ofcourse, in the dark there's someone out to take my place. With hatred and wrath. "Attention seeker, stop fishing attention" There it is, what hurts me the most. It's true, I seek attention. Not only that, but also affection. It may be the truth but it's okay, Everyone wants affection and attention.. right?? "The golden star child. I am perfect and humble, I will have a leash on my collar like a golden retriever. I'm not a star child! I'm no where near perfect at her! What are you all thinking?! I'm just here.. existing under her shadow That's why I'm alone, Begging for attention... But the attention I receive, It's not the way I want it to be!! Why can't anyone under stand that all I ask for Is to be least average!-...." I stop out of control, putting on a smile on my face. "I am the golden star child, I am to listen without complaints. I.... I'm the golden star child.. the star child.. the perfect daughter.. smart.. kind and beautiful.. i-im.. I'm......." Tears fell, the tears overflowed the jar. I sob yet noone sees.. "Nothing...."