Going Home

At the age of thirty-four I looked at where I'd been before. I longed to see the places I'd never been. I longed to love and laugh again. My life was lonely. I was filled with pain. Oh, to only live again! So I threw caution to the wind in search of the love that had never been. I gave up on dreams of past desires and gave in to lusty fires. Now at forty-two I think I've never been so blue. My mistakes have slapped me in the face. How did I wind up in this place? I look in the mirror and I see someone looking back at me. Who can this be? "Alone again," she seems to mock. All of a sudden I'm in shock. What should I do? Where will I go? Life used to be so slow. I had all the time in the world. I was such a carefree girl. Spirited and free, that was me. Where was I then? Suddenly I hear myself say out loud, "You were at home. You were one of the crowd." I was different, it's true, but I always had new shoes. I wasn't drab or sad and I miss the friends I had. I miss my mother and my brother. If only we could hold each other. I know I'd laugh and cry just to look into their eyes. Maybe I'd feel warm again near the fireplace in the den. And so I'll go with my heart in my hands. I'll just make new plans. I'll "feel the fear and do it anyway". I'll go back home...today! Copyright: 1998 "All Rights Reserved"
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

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Wolf Avatar
October 1, 2016 at 5:05 AM
I like this it has a certain step to it /|\
Turner Avatar
August 30, 2016 at 7:44 PM
Really a poignant write, Carole, Only for me going home makes it worse. There's nobody there!
Duet Avatar
August 31, 2016 at 12:04 AM
Hi Daniel and thank you so much for reading my poems. I wrote this poem many years ago for a friend who was "going home" and I knew how she felt. Actually, there is "no one there" for me either.
Smith Avatar
August 30, 2016 at 4:14 PM
This is so good Carole...a fave for me
Duet Avatar
August 30, 2016 at 5:16 PM
Geeezzz! Thanks Tim. I didn't expect that.
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