Give Up

i give up my life, with you. i give up my all i had with you,to be here with parents ,aged and old ,guilt upon my head ,like rain up on torment,ive lost ,lost it all, you, my children,my life ..do i even have a soul?ive loved and lost ,lost so many times over .but ,when is it my turn ,to have a slice of happiness?? nearing 54 years,what have i to show?lost babies, lost husband ,whom i love so much,,but guilt ,guilt rains heavy on my head and heart,to leave the parents who raised me ? to leave the husband ,who loves me?death would be ,but a closer thing to me ,to love and embrace...to leave the sad and soulful memories, far behind ,to dream no more ,to love no more...to be no more.....