Susan Ashley Poet Free verse

Notes About The Poem

 December 27, 2022

 

~ Fifth Place ~
Premiere Contest: Drugs
Sponsor: Rob Carmack
 

~ First Place ~
Contest: Can't Believe It Was An N/A

Sponsor: Silent One 

 

N/A

Premiere Contest: 2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 24

Sponsor: Mark Toney

 

Poet’s note: This poem is not autobiographical, but for the grace of God, this could be me. The portrayal of the young woman who uses opioids could be anyone’s wife, girlfriend, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, acquaintance. This poem is expressed from a place of empathy for anyone dependent on heroin and for the pain and sorrow of their tragic human experience.

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Girl With the Black Pearl Eyes

The heat on the street more than I can take
hem hiked high above my bony knees
spread slightly apart so I can breathe
I sit in the stifling air on a stony stoop
there’s no relief from the panting

my face stained with sweat and bad luck
the heave of my heavy breaths work
against the sticky cling of my spandex dress
my ribs confined by the constrict of fabric
or maybe it’s the feeling of my shrinking skin
—yes it’s hard to breathe

I lick a salty trickle falling on my lips
teary eyes swollen from the violence of a trick
a john who didn’t see the beauty beyond
vivid blue and red against white skin—
my body like the American flag for Christ’s sake!
but in the back-alley filth  nobody’s patriotic 

scabs and bruises distract from needle tracks
people only see what’s on the surface
afraid to see a trembling girl
hidden beneath the grime of shame
and the crime of syringes and burnt spoons —
I’m afraid too — to see the girl in the mirror
a veiled child jailed behind the glass
no   I only see the next knot tied around a pulse
I avoid myself— the addict in the mirror
my dope sick eyes haunted  decades older
oh older than nineteen years of beaten misery
hollow dope sick eyes once long ago large
lustrous like black pearls

until found by furious fists

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Rob Carmack September 22, 2025 at 3:30 PM I see your notes and I agree this could happen to anyone given the right circumstances. We are all addicts in one way or another. Thank you for supporting my contests and congratulations. Susan Ashley September 26, 2025 at 7:14 AM Dear Rob, thank you for your thoughtful remarks and for your kind congrats. I'm thrilled with poem's placement on your list and honored to have placed among the talented poets recognized. Your contest sponsorship is greatly appreciated. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan

Howard Kerr January 17, 2024 at 9:29 PM Susan, Your monumental work is a master class in observational writing. The harrowing experience of another human being has been portrayed with great sensitivity, empathy and compassion. Yours is an epic piece. Congratulations to you as well. Many thanks for your detailed, constructive review of my submission. Kind regards Howard Susan Ashley January 18, 2024 at 8:26 AM Dear Howard, I'm humbled and honored by your appreciation of my poem. Thank you for sharing in its emotions. Your valued comments are inspiring and elevating! I'm glad this piece touched you, the beauty of your empathy shines. You're welcome for my visit to your amazing poem Who Are We At Our Core, it's exquisite. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Karen Croft January 14, 2024 at 8:09 PM Very sad and moving poem. Yes you are right, this could be anyone I know or myself at one time. You never know the true story of a person till you hear it straight from them. Susan Ashley January 17, 2024 at 6:39 PM Dear Karen, thank you for experiencing the emotions of this poem with me. The beauty of your empathy shines in your lovely comments, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paula Goldsmith January 4, 2024 at 8:02 AM WOW!!! I enjoyed reading this powerful/sad write/great ending. Glad Silent One did this. Have a blessed day writing away........................ Susan Ashley January 4, 2024 at 5:47 PM Dear Paula, thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your gracious visit and comments are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Regina Elliott January 3, 2024 at 1:34 PM Dearest Susan, a resounding FAVE. I'm quite astonished it had N/A'd from a contest. It's a humanitarian and compassionately penned poem on the human misery of addiction. So many people suffer from addiction. Thank you, wonderful poetess, for writing it. Bravo. Happy New Year! Your poetry friend, Regina ~ Susan Ashley January 4, 2024 at 5:44 PM Dearest Regina, soulful poetess, the beauty of your empathy shines in the heartfelt glow of your words. I appreciate the humane beauty of your insightful comments. The ripple effect of addiction is devastating for the person who uses opioids. Indeed, along with the addict, family, friends and society all suffer from the throes of addiction in one way or another. Everyone deserves empathy and compassion, especially the must vulnerable and helpless among us. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for the high honor of your fave. Warmest wishes for a happy new year, my sweet poetry friend.. ~Susan

Silent One January 3, 2024 at 12:18 PM You always leave me lost for words with your amazing word weaving dear Susan.. This wasn't really a contest, but an opportunity to showcase an Na poem.. Susan Ashley January 4, 2024 at 5:28 PM Dear Silent One, thank you for the sponsorship of your contest. It's was a wonderful opportunity to showcase an NA poem that is otherwise lost to the pages of poetic oblivion. It is indeed an honor to receive your wonderful comments and kind congrats on my poem's placement. I truly appreciate being named among the talented poets/poetesses on your list. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Robert Lindley June 5, 2023 at 10:49 AM A very interesting title my dear friend. Your verses sing and describe the sad life of those addicted. A fav, God bless.. Susan Ashley July 4, 2023 at 8:40 AM Dear Robert, I'm not really sure where the inspiration for this poem came from, but suddenly, I had these verses running through my mind and just had to write this poem! It's funny (amazing) when that spontaneously happens, isn't it? Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem, your empathy shines. The honor of you fav is truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Ray Zottola May 3, 2023 at 4:51 AM Susan, I've witnessed what you described here. So real! Z Susan Ashley May 3, 2023 at 6:29 PM Dear Ray, I'm so sorry to know that you have witnessed the scene in my poem. My heart goes out to those affected by opioid addiction. It's so wonderful to see you, my friend. Thank you for your visit and for sharing your precious thoughts with me. I also penned a companion piece to this poem called Girl On The Moon. A further exploration on the same heartbreaking theme. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Joanna Daniel February 14, 2023 at 3:00 AM Can feel the poor girl's feelings, very deeply expressed the dark repercussions of substance abuse, great description, Susan:) Susan Ashley February 17, 2023 at 9:31 PM Dear Jo, the beauty of your empathy shines in your lovely response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan

Paul Bell February 5, 2023 at 2:41 AM The drug for fun that becomes the drug to run. It doesn't take long to reach the ground, as many a soul has found. Getting back up, now that's the challenge. Susan Ashley February 5, 2023 at 8:47 AM Indeed, Paul, getting up from rock bottom is the ultimate challenge. There is always hope for recovery as long as there is a breath, as long as there is a heartbeat, and until there's no longer either one, there is always hope for the person who abuses opioids. Your insightful poetic comment captures the turmoil of opioid abuse perfectly. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Susan Lawrence January 7, 2023 at 10:44 PM I am just getting to this amazing work of yours dearest Susan . A poignant word painting torn through the middle and oozing sadness . Each life is a precious gift. Giving compassion and hope is so very important to these people . Your writing is filled with tears and nuances of the destruction drugs can bring . Thanks for opening your heart and letting us in to see this broken reality . Hugs to you my friend . White wings of hope fly with you dear Susan . You are a gift in my life .Susan :) xo Susan Ashley January 14, 2023 at 9:33 AM Dearest Susan, my poetry soul sis and wonderful friend, it is a joy to see you! I receive your precious words into my heart with gratitude for your compassionate soul that resonates with tender vibes in all directions of the universe. Indeed, for the people abusing opioids, the destruction of the drug upon them, family and friends is like a tsunami come ashore. Yet there can be life in the aftermath as compassion and hope is the sun that dries the tears as the waves recede. Far-reaching and deep is your radiance, my sweet friend, you touch me with your light. Thank you.. you are a gift in my life too. Warmest wishes and hugs sent on white wings of grace.. ~Susan

Kelly Deschler January 4, 2023 at 5:19 PM Too many beautiful people become marred by shame and abuse. These things just shouldn't happen, but they do. And, they will continue to happen without help... You've brought the issue to light with this very real and very moving write. Excellent work, Susan! Susan Ashley January 5, 2023 at 1:06 PM Dear Kelly, your compassion for people “marred by shame and abuse” shines from your tender heart. I appreciate the humane beauty of your insightful comments. Thank you, my friend, for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Pashang Salehi January 2, 2023 at 10:27 AM The problem is very real and very sad... I'm glad you wrote this story. Susan Ashley January 3, 2023 at 12:20 PM Dear Pashang, I delight in your visit! Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. The beauty of your empathy shines, my friend. Warmest wishes for a healthy and happy new year.. ~Susan

Beata Agustin January 1, 2023 at 5:56 AM Thanks for sharing this. Meanwhile, by God's grace, I greet you with the peace and joy of Christmas toward a prosperous New Year along this present: "the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Romans 6:23 of the King James Bible). God bless you. Susan Ashley January 1, 2023 at 5:57 PM Dear Beata, it's so nice to see you! The beauty of your comments touch my heart in such a wonderful way. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me. May the peace and joy of Christmastide extend throughout the new year and my your new year be filled with blessings and beautiful revelations.. ~Susan

Sara Kendrick December 31, 2022 at 3:27 AM Very sad situation that a person can get themselves into. Thanks for sharing the scene with us to remind us that there are those out there who are in this condition. Sara Susan Ashley January 1, 2023 at 5:45 PM Dear Sara, thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Indeed, we need to be reminded and not just turn a blind eye. Complacency is easy, compassion can be more challenging. Your thoughtful comments are treasured. Warmest wishes for a happy new year, my friend.. ~Susan

Jennifer Proxenos December 30, 2022 at 4:40 AM Wow Susan what a heartfelt, tragic write, these people who cannot change their destiny, simply are on a path of self destruction, and sadly, they know it. Susan my wonderful poetry sis, my wonderful friend who has a heart of gold, and writes the most amazing poetry and comments, and who everyone on Soup loves also. I miss communicating and have so much to say, but right now wish you an awesome 2023, may all your dreams come true my dearest dearest friend. Hugs and Blessings, Jen. Susan Ashley January 1, 2023 at 5:42 PM Dearest Jennifer, your comments are so very insightful! Indeed, I too, think that people who abuse opioids know they are on a path of destruction they just cannot depart from. The beauty of your empathy shines as does the beauty of your poetry. Your heart is radiant! Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for your moving comments. I am honored by your friendship and kinship. Our friendship bridges time and distance always. Warmest wishes to you and yours for a rich and fulfilling new year, my precious poetry sis.. ~Susan (soup mail) <3

Michelle Faulkner December 29, 2022 at 9:30 PM Your attention to detail is so exquisite, Susan, such as 'stained with sweat and bad luck' and 'crime of syringes and burnt spoons' - a painful portrait of the toll and misery drugs leave on the body and spirit, I realize this is fictional but for somebody out there, it is all too real~ Susan Ashley January 1, 2023 at 5:34 PM Dear Michelle, the tenderness of your thoughtful words truly touch my heart. Indeed, "for somebody out there, it is all too real." Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for your insightful comments. The beauty of your empathy shines as brightly as your poetic talent. Warmest wishes for a happy new year, my friend.. ~Susan

I Am Anaya December 29, 2022 at 5:59 PM We are losing the ability to care anymore, jaded, tired of the gruesome sights of the unkempt on the streets. What happened to the sorrows we had at a time for them, when we reached out. It's ending, like anything else that has gone on too long. On the other hand, this is a prelude of what's to come, a final solution, let's hope it's from Christ and not the other guy! Happy new year to you and yours, Susan! Hugs~Anaya Susan Ashley January 1, 2023 at 5:29 PM Dear Anaya, your precious thoughts are treasured. It's easy to become jaded but I hope we never lose our ability to care. Humanity must maintain its humanity if we are to be human. Everyone deserves empathy and compassion, especially the must vulnerable and helpless among us. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes for a happy new year, my friend.. ~Susan

Paul Callus December 28, 2022 at 4:56 AM The picture you vividly paint is a very expressive and sad one, Susan. I have been in contact with opioids users, and it's heartbreaking to see their life going to waste. Apart from that I feel for their families, especially the ones who gave them sound life values at a young age. So many questions come to mind...Who is to blame? How did it all start? How will it end? For sure they need help, prayers & understanding. ~ Warm regards & Hugs my friend....and Happy New Year // paul Susan Ashley January 1, 2023 at 5:17 PM Dear Paul, it is a tragedy to see how opioid use destroys peoples lives and families. Your questions about drug addiction and how and why it happens are thought-provoking and I hope the answers to these questions are found some day soon. The beauty of empathy shines in your compassionate actions. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your thoughts are treasured. Warmest wishes and hugs my friend.. ~Susan

Vijay Pandit December 27, 2022 at 2:19 PM As I read your poem, Susan, I saw the sad images of an addicted, abused girl--brought forth by your gifted pen. So sad that the portrait you convey is true to real life--so many lives roil in hopelessness and misery, with no end in sight. Kudos my friend for highlighting this thought provoking topic. Every poem you write is a gem. Susan Ashley December 29, 2022 at 8:23 AM Dear Vijay, your response to my poem is received with gratitude. I am so glad to know you were able to see this young woman, who uses opioids, for the abused girl that she is. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for sharing your treasured thoughts. Your heart shines with the beauty of empathy. Warmest wishes for a healthy, happy and poetic new year.. ~Susan

Tom Cunningham December 27, 2022 at 2:19 PM They live a miserable existence and are dispised by society, it's a downward spiral for many who never recover. Those that survive turn to crime to fund their addiction. Not many escape the clutches of that addiction but some do and its a long road to recovery. Those peddlers who inflict that misery should be locked away for life. Brilliant writing Susan. I hope you had a lovely christmas and best wishes for 2023. Tom Susan Ashley December 29, 2022 at 6:45 PM Dear Tom, thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your precious thoughts are received with gratitude. Indeed, drug use, opioid use is a downward spiral. Crime and drug use go hand in hand unfortunately. We can never give up on the people caught in addiction's web, there is always hope for recovery as long as there is a breath, as long as there is a heartbeat, until there's no longer either one, there is always hope. I had a lovely Christmas and hope you did too, my friend. Warmest wishes for a happy new year! ~Susan

David Kavanagh December 27, 2022 at 1:52 PM An extremely powerful poem Susan, your vivid imagery paints the insane world of the heroin addict, we pass them by each day on the street, some become objects of hate and disgust, because of the crimes they commit against the public, burglaries, pickpocketing, handbag snatching, mugging the elderly etc, I really wish there was a lasting solution, a thought provoking write from you as always, cheers David Susan Ashley December 28, 2022 at 6:22 PM Dear David, thank you for your thoughtful comments and for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Though it's true that people who are drug dependent turn to crime to support their habits, we must remember that drug addiction is a disease and not a lifestyle choice. As a victim of such a burglary myself long ago, it takes a practice in empathy to rise above the feelings of resentment towards opioid users. I share your wish for a lasting solution for achieving a clean and sober life-long recovery for users like the young woman depicted above. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan

Ann Peck December 27, 2022 at 1:14 PM Dear Susan, Your poem brought tears...too many pass by the street people without a care. I've written three poems about them. At a life-drawing class years ago at a downtown museum, the teacher used street people as our models. Their eyes and hardened mouths tell their stories. Thank you for caring with your beautiful poem. :) Susan Ashley December 28, 2022 at 5:57 PM Dear Ann, thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. It truly is heartbreaking to see how these lives dissolve when involved with heroin. The ripple effect of addiction is devastating for the person who uses opioids. Thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings with me, the beauty of your empathy shines. Indeed, "their eyes and hardened mouths tell their stories." Warmest wishes for a happy new year.. ~Susan