From the Ashes

His darkness erased the enthusiasm From my spirit, the vitality From my colors – hues of lethargy Began to bleed through the vibrant Wishes, the dreams that colored me In laughter, sunshine and rain – sprinkling My light in a melancholic doubt, Washed out feelings and listless, weary Fear began to create a rhythm of Shame and regret, discouraging even My most potent feelings, dreams That felt like the sun’s rays covering me With inspiration and faith – became gray Then black as death He screamed at the hope in me, Destroying every desire, watering down The fire so I felt like the pieces of me That had felt – were beyond feeling, Illusions, a past joy that I deemed not quite real, Almost like a dream that I’d woke from, Knowing that I’d never have the ability To go back there – where the joy Had felt like the brisk morning air, fulfilling Even the laughter with a brilliance So wise and aware of the lively, energetic Elation that comes to those who know There is a light stronger than the sun A love far brighter than the stars and moon His darkness gripped my mind, my life In a way that felt so convincing I couldn’t see past the sound of his fury I couldn’t even pronounce the word for it Was there a word for it? The bitterness stung my very soul The resentment tore away each hope The rage destroyed every confidence I became a person I didn’t know In the shadow of his night, I couldn’t find my way Out of the dark – where I felt trapped In a cage of rage, captive of the endless fighting… When divorce was the only reply to the night I finally could see past the dread, the darkness Into the light, where I could ultimately see hope begin To rise from the ashes – bringing me back to life again