Fresh Out of a Cold Shower

After being amply lathered from head to toe, aye ya eye ya eye ya eye, and without fail (gluteus maximus unloads a dump, as predictably happens like clockwork orange after washing off suds), this nada so grand poo ba drops ship capsizing sinkers (hefty waste ballast causing sea level to rise), this aint "NOT FAKE" just ask Cap'n Bligh sitting athwart the poop deck i.e. christened "Porcelain Goddess" well nar did die after being privy seeing yours truly exit the water closet did espy a much relieved rearing ass a nine guy, which also earned me, the nick name "Rump," not evident, via friendly customary wave conveyed expediting, (viz nonverbally) business cheekily dreck eliminated eh, the formality establishment, sans customary "hi" whereupon without any waste I sought to secure these weather beaten lovely bones of mine preparatory to a tidal wave, thus refuge sought behind (a replica), sans Bridge over the River Kwai after moving ma bowels, no lie, which predictable tsunami predicated on my humungous substantial rectal discharge well nigh generating threatening rip snorting currents impossible mission e'en ex spurt semen to ply especially, flush with panic (a bum er, but mandatory duty) when lookout scout, (an E Medic) didst spy an immense wall of water, aye yai yai!