Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Forgive Me -Emotive Write For Contest

Forgive Me -Emotive Write For Contest

Bitter tears cascade down my face, hearing that you had taken your own life. Another teenage tragedy, I’m in dire straits - never again will we hear your playful laugh. The baby blues crept up on you so gradually leaving a tiny baby without a mother. We read about these terrible tragedies …. Someone’s father, mother, sister or brother. Your baby will have not be left alone, grandparents have willingly taken her. Now she is living in a brand new home; their lives are starting a new chapter Forgive me were the last words you said Death was the price you paid Contest- Forgiveness Sponsor - Craig Cornish My first attempt at a 'Modern' Sonnet 05~10~15

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Arthur Vaso

Date: 1/1/2016 1:02:00 AM

I bet you can guess what I spent tonight doing you amazing poetess!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2016 6:45:00 AM

I dread to think lol but I'm so looking forward to seeing the result :-) hugs Jan xxlol

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

Date: 10/13/2015 1:26:00 AM

Wonderful poem Jan! Congrats on great win!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/13/2015 3:04:00 AM

Thanks Dr Sharma:-) hugs Jan xx

Skat A

Date: 10/10/2015 12:03:00 PM

well done Jan.. SKAT

Jan Allison
Date: 10/10/2015 1:57:00 PM

Thanks Skat:-) hugs Jan xx

Kp Nunez

Date: 10/9/2015 4:18:00 PM

I'm happy for you, Jan. Congrats! PS. I took Jim out of hiding for Jack...:-)

Jan Allison
Date: 10/9/2015 4:24:00 PM

Oh will drop by and thanks Kim:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 10/8/2015 9:44:00 PM

Jan, congratulations on your win:-)Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 10/9/2015 4:34:00 AM

Many thanks Alexis:-) hugs Jan xx

Sandra Haight

Date: 10/8/2015 8:20:00 PM

Congratulations, Jan, on your win, for your modern Sonnet, so well-written on such a sad theme, but one which happens far too often. Hugs, Sandra

Jan Allison
Date: 10/8/2015 8:24:00 PM

Such a sad situation Sandra - I asked my hubby for a topic for the contest and he came up with suicide - after that I have no control where my must will take me:-( hugs jan xx

Michael Tor

Date: 10/8/2015 7:52:00 PM

Jan nice win.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/8/2015 7:59:00 PM

Thanks Michael:-) hugs jan xx

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 10/8/2015 5:59:00 PM

this certainly is an emotive write, jan, i'm glad it placed for you, and of course these sort of subjects fit so well into sonnets - congrats on your win in the contest!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/8/2015 6:06:00 PM

Thanks Charlotte this is a re=write of the original I struggled as i thought it had to be 'near or slant rhyme' but from reading the other poems in the list I could have stayed with my first attempt - I'm delighted to place with the revised version:-) hugs Jan xx

Duke Beaufort

Date: 10/6/2015 8:13:00 AM

Forgiveness--for someone to take their own life means they were ill and did not receive the care they needed. A big ouch. We can all benefit from some forgiveness from the crazy things we have done at times. Jan--you are something special!!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/6/2015 8:45:00 AM

You are so kind in your comments Duke:-) hugs Jan xx

Kp Nunez

Date: 10/6/2015 2:55:00 AM

Very sad and emotive indeed, Jan. I echo Demetrio's feelings. I think you got the form down pat, IMHO. Let's keep our fingers crossed. hugs!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/6/2015 4:06:00 AM

I'm not confident with the half rhyme/slant rhyme but i tried my best and I hope Craig likes the poem! :-) hugs Jan xx

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 10/6/2015 1:26:00 AM

A sad story that I wish never to have to tell it again for the loss of life is nothing to celebrate about. The poem strong that steers the emotions! Good luck, dear jan! Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 10/6/2015 1:58:00 AM

Thanks Demetrios it is a very emotive write and sadly these tragedies do happen:-( hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 10/5/2015 7:57:00 PM

Could be a poem recited at any time around the world with the sad message that is still barely understood - good luck Jan - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 10/5/2015 11:14:00 PM

Thanks Lindsay it must be terrible to be so depressed like that and to end your life feeling but tragically it happens:-( hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/5/2015 3:58:00 PM

I love this one, Jan. You did a very good job with modern sonnet!!! And the subject matter is perfect for this one.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/5/2015 4:15:00 PM

I really struggled with this one as I am not familiar with slant rhyme but I have given it my best shot:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 10/5/2015 3:33:00 PM

What a sad tragedy! This could have been a case of post-natal depression. gl in the contest, Jan. Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 10/5/2015 3:40:00 PM

Yes definitely a case of post natal depression often referred to as the baby blues - a pure fiction write on my behalf but sadly it does happen:-( hugs jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 10/5/2015 3:31:00 PM

Suicide is so sad Jan. Well a child losing a mother is sad too. Thank goodness the Grandparents stepped in.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/5/2015 3:39:00 PM

It's a sad scenario Tim - I asked my hubby for a topic to write and he came up with suicide and this is where my muse took me:-( hugs jan xx

Bl Devnath

Date: 10/5/2015 1:35:00 PM

Extreme sadness cascades from the heart, a very sad story on forgiveness. A 7. Good luck in the contest my lovely friend. Loved always,bl

Jan Allison
Date: 10/5/2015 1:41:00 PM

Thanks Bl :-) hugs Jan xx

Judy Konos

Date: 10/5/2015 7:46:00 AM

captured elegantly the horror of it all

Jan Allison
Date: 10/5/2015 8:08:00 AM

It's a tough subject to write about - I asked my hubby for a topic to write about and he said suicide so this is the way my muse took me:-( hugs Jan xx