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Footfalls

My gray head turns aghast, broken glass, broken glass, two by fours, without their walls. Floors lifted by years of rain, walls hanging on in vain, nothing is as I recall. The trees encroach, strangle hold. The mice nest, keep out cold. Green makes a moldy pall. When young I played here. The rooms were full of cheer now mice and bugs, creep and crawl. My playhouse, stone, still stands. Dad built it with his hands. Can you see my childish scrawl? Through the bramble bush I leave memories to relieve. Can you hear my soft footfall? Balassi Stanza

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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12
Date: 12/26/2013 1:03:00 AM
Hi Debbie: .....wonderful imagery and tone.......so sad we can never really go back. Wind to your wings, light to your path, SuZ
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Date: 12/22/2013 6:40:00 PM
Enjoyable read on childhood reminiscence. Excellent descriptions! Congrats, Debbie!
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Date: 12/21/2013 7:41:00 AM
Beautiful! The sound of our past footsteps following along behind us! Thanks for your visit!
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Date: 12/18/2013 7:48:00 PM
Congratulations Debbi.
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Date: 12/18/2013 9:56:00 AM
Congrats on your winning work..Way to go!!!Sara
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Date: 12/15/2013 1:29:00 PM
Ah, the memories..congrats. BG
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Date: 12/15/2013 12:19:00 PM
Well done on the top win Debbie..'
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Date: 12/15/2013 8:20:00 AM
Congrats on the win oh cool one xx
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Date: 12/15/2013 7:48:00 AM
This piece is sad and enduring. It is a strange thing to visit the places of our past. This was so well done, congratulations.
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Date: 12/15/2013 5:52:00 AM
great write Debbie.....congrats on your win
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Date: 12/15/2013 3:09:00 AM
Wonderful poem Debbie.All Childhood memories do really make us cry if our beloved ones are involved. Great Debbie.Congratulations for this great win. (: ) Jenish.
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Date: 12/14/2013 11:05:00 PM
Oh wow.......this is so wonderful ! A glimpse of your past, captured in poetry. Loved it!
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Date: 12/14/2013 10:16:00 PM
Well deserved win, I always have mixed emotions when revisiting scenes from my youth. you penned a vivid picture of one of your early scenes. thanx 4 sharing
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Date: 12/14/2013 7:33:00 PM
Thanks for your interesting poem and congratulations on the win, Deb
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Date: 12/14/2013 12:33:00 AM
reviewing this one again. Just love how you ended it with the soft footfall.
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Date: 12/12/2013 10:10:00 AM
It was a beautiful visit...I enjoyed your wonderful poem Debbie..good luck in the contest PS.I read a couple of poems at rattle.com..the only ones I could get thru to were from children's poems from an issue in 1998..they were mind blowing..Allen Gingsberg's Dead and Storytime at Grandpas...I'm gong to try again though
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Date: 12/12/2013 4:47:00 AM
Ahhh!! This has winner written all over it..Enjoyed reading this morning..I wonder if an actual revisitation of a home where you once lived..Thanks for the honor of being in the winner's list in your contest..I had fun writing that one..Did the snow and cold get to your area?..Sara
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Date: 12/11/2013 3:31:00 PM
Excellent writing for Dr. Ram's contest, Debs. You sure went beyond the call with this poetry form!!
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Date: 12/9/2013 2:35:00 PM
You've managed to make this a sad yet pleasant read. Good going, Debbie. If this is for a contest, good luck, my eloquent friend. Licia :-)
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Date: 12/9/2013 9:30:00 AM
This brings back some memories Debbie, my hiding place as a child, thanks for posting this one.Blessings, Carl
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Date: 12/8/2013 6:50:00 PM
Yes I hear your footfalls, as a soft spring rain falling on the roof, a pounding as a beating heart never to stop for words expressions shall live on and you my dear fellow bard speak great volumes to be remember always. cheri
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Date: 12/8/2013 12:47:00 AM
Excellent. Great memories. Enjoyed reading it. Tfs
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Date: 12/7/2013 9:59:00 PM
Love this. This short piece did not rush... you nailed the pacing, sis. Suspenseful, yet 'in the moment.' All show, no tell;) xox Dee I'm off to bed, almost better and in a whirlwind weekend.
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Date: 12/7/2013 7:07:00 PM
Those old haunts of our childhood, they seem to have kept our dreams and hopes, only waiting to be revisted, or released. Smokey had been badgering you at the same time Kiwi had been doing her I want to go outside NOW dance.:) I have a stalker/vampire here on the Soup. Wrote to someone referring to me once again as a 'hussy''. He creeps me out. :( I was thinking it excited him thinking of me aa a hussy...duh Keep well., Love, Mikki
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Date: 12/7/2013 5:36:00 PM
wonderful memories Debbie. Nice work
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Book: Shattered Sighs