foggy freeze dried memories

icy daggers serrated his chilly mind
memories sharp as polar bear’s claws 
wielded reminiscent evocation in pain
how he longed for selective amnesia

heart and reason at war with the enemy
a battle only to be won if he surrendered
to inevitability that conflicts were useless
unless of course they concluded in cease fire

his father had fought at the Russian Front
which left his own upbringing out in the cold
no Potemkin façade could melt the chagrin of
twelve years of Germanic menace and madness

both of them prisoner to emotional deprivation
trans-generational transmission of trauma in action
it was bitterly cold in the heat of many a moment
and icicles festered in the young brain to be formed

shape up they said – fight flight or freeze
food for thought no doubt but what about feelings

many winters have passed and the old man is dead now
took many secrets and memories into his grave
the boy now in his sixties decided he needed a snow man
carrot charcoal eyes and Che Guevara’s bandana

collected drift wood from a beach of forgiveness
and danced around the bonfire of exorcised hurt
until permafrost yielded to fire and passion in time

he had been his own antagonist for far too long
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

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George Avatar
March 16, 2025 at 6:36 AM
This is so powerful and digs deep into the psyche! The atrocities of war are so haunting and the sad memories penetrate deep even into our marrow. One who has experienced the horrors of war carry the bitter memories a whole life time. One has to get rid of these painful memories or else he will turn his own antagonist. Into my FAVE.
Dietrich Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Wow. Brilliant writing, Kai. I see below here you live in Spain? I love that country. Wish I could have stayed there all those years ago when I did my semester abroad in college.
DiMino Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 8:07 AM
You get a FAV! for this one. Excellent, emotive poetry. Valuable and heartfelt insight. War is hell! Yes, as long as we remember, we are owned by the past. Imbedded in the past. What we eat, hear, smell and see, becomes just as much us as that which we eat and drink. Soul inspiring write. All true I imagine.
Neumann Avatar
March 14, 2025 at 8:34 AM
Thank you for your kind comment. Yes, the poem tells a true story. Only the snowman and bonfire (I live in Spain at the coast) have come from poetic license. Kind wishes to you, Kai
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