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Flumbos and Fluffetts

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Our friend Bob recently passed away and I was asked by his wife to write a poem about their pet names for farts and I have her blessing to post the poem on soup All over the world people are farting And some folks give their farts a cute name But no matter what you call them They smell pretty much the same Silent but deadly farts They still stink but there is no sound Their stench it can be detected As the aroma will linger around Bob was tall and handsome And so incredibly strong But when he let rip with a fart There was an incredible pong! Over time his farts got much louder His pet name for farts was a ‘flumbo’ The farts were so ginormous He could compete with the elephant Dumbo Bob’s lovely wife Mary She hails from the USA And when she passes wind It’s done in a feminine way Mary will fart genteelly She calls her farts a ‘fluffy or fluffett’ They may be silent but deadly But the scent lingers round you can bet! 22nd August 2017

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Pat Adams

Date: 8/25/2017 7:09:00 PM

I love this poem Jan. The cartoon is great too! (Almost makes a fart seem erotic) A bit of a stretch, but I don't want to get too long "winded". 80) pat

Jan Allison
Date: 8/26/2017 3:24:00 AM

ha ha ha Pat I am not so sure about erotic it depends what direction the wind is blowing lol:-) I think fluffett is a an elegant name for a fart and flumbo is very descriptive:-) hugs jan xx

Vdeep Singh

Date: 8/25/2017 5:44:00 AM

Dear Jan, I just started reading your poems. There is a long list of fabulous poems. The newest I read I struck into it.I can't even imagine someone can write on farting such nicely. Hat's off.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/25/2017 6:56:00 AM

Lol Vdeep I am known as the Queen of Poop and one lovely member even sent me a gorgeous rhinestone crown:-) I was honoured to be asked by my friend to wite this poem and she LOVED it:-) hugs jan xx

Kevin Shaw

Date: 8/23/2017 2:57:00 AM

Hi Jan, I am going to read this to my grandchildren, they will love it. Quite unique for Bob's obituary. Regards to you and regards to Fluffett, Kevin xxx

Jan Allison
Date: 8/23/2017 3:47:00 AM

Thanks Kevin my friends know I write poetry and I was asked to recite my just 'Deserts Poem' at the meal and I also recited a few limericks. The Mary told the story of fluffetts and flumbos and asked me to write a poem and this was the result.:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 8/22/2017 1:56:00 PM

The first day at the nursing home - In the morning she got a nice breakfast and was put in a chair by a window with a beautiful view - She seemed OK, but gradually she began to lean sideways in her chair - Two nurses flew up to correct her -This happened again and again all day -Later the family came to visit - "Mom, how is it here?" -Are they nice to you ?" they asked - "It's okay," replied the mother - "but here it is not allowed to fart" :))) - Just wanted to share this, Jan - hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2017 5:08:00 PM

ha ha ha that is hilaiarse Anne Lise:-) hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen
Date: 8/22/2017 1:57:00 PM

- I think it was a 'fluffy or fluffett' :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Dm Babbit

Date: 8/22/2017 1:23:00 PM

Just love. My love would complain about my flatulent release and I would simply say - dedicated to the one I love.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2017 5:06:00 PM

ha ha ha DM that's a good answer lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Winged Warrior

Date: 8/22/2017 9:38:00 AM

Quit farting around Jan lol...nice aroma tribute for your friend...god bless...^WW^

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2017 12:27:00 PM

It's not often you get asked to write a farty poem when you are having a meal with friends but this was the challenge is was set lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Dale Gregory Cozart

Date: 8/22/2017 9:33:00 AM

This is really hilarious! Sounds almost like a Fart Documentary.

Dale Gregory Cozart
Date: 8/22/2017 2:44:00 PM

I'll drink to that!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2017 12:30:00 PM

As long as its not smell o vision lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane

Date: 8/22/2017 8:32:00 AM

"Flumbo" reminds me of the name used in New Orleans night parades for the men who carry flaming torches. They're called Flambeau carriers. NOT a good idea for a flambeau to get near a flumbo or a fluffett. Thanks for the humor, Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2017 8:55:00 AM

ha ha ha Lin that is a hilarious thought a flambeau'd flumbo!:-) hugs jan xx

Mike Gentile

Date: 8/22/2017 8:10:00 AM

Jan, you have slayed us with your poem about passing flatus!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2017 8:16:00 AM

lol Mike thanks:-) hugs Jan xx

Russell Sivey

Date: 8/22/2017 8:10:00 AM

That is such a cute write about passing wind...farting noises can be so embarrassing but fun with the right people! And those names, HA! So hilarious, Fluffett even sounds quiet when said aloud, just like the fart! I loved reading this very funny poem my friend! You have surely tickled my funny bone with this incredible piece, Great Work!!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2017 8:16:00 AM

Flufette sounds so feminine lol - we had this conversation at a dinner party and I was challenged to write the poem lol:-) hugs jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 8/22/2017 7:48:00 AM

Flatulent free fun Jan....the wind blows when the wind blows.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2017 7:52:00 AM

Cheers Tom. I read this to Mary over the phone yesterday and she LOVED it :-)I popped a copy of the poem through her letterbox as she wants to share it with friends and she was happy for me to post the poem on soup :-) hugs jan xx