Flawed Limericks

There is a state of mind known as woebegone In which one feels like an addict on methadone The more one tries to feel upbeat The more one suffers mental defeat And the mind plays on like a gramophone. 8 The boys outside the bar appeared rapscallion Their actions were downright reptilian Every time a girl would walk by One would let out a loud cry Acting just like an overheated young stallion 8 There was an old lady from New Jersey Who recently moved to Poughkeepsie She met this old fart In a local Kmart And the two proceeded to get quite tipsy 8 Roger was smug and a bit of a grandee Others viewed him as somewhat of a dandy The girls giggled and downright snickered Because they knew he sought entry to their knickers But alas, with buttons and zippers he just wasn’t handy 8 Bobby was well known for his generosity But also known for his excessive gulosity He would take you to lunch anytime But always state “what’s left over is mine” And clean the table with the utmost ferocity 8 There was this old man from Toledo That liked to parade around in his speedo The old ladies would giggle Watching his sagging butt jiggle But it did little or nothing for their libido 8 There is this retired gentleman in south Buda Who would like to vacation in Bermuda But his poem book didn’t sell worth squat Now he’s stuck with who knows what As he reads travel brochures in his pad in south Buda 8 There is this Colorado guy in the Springs Whose Windows computer does unusual things The damn screen turned permanently black So he went out and bought a new Mac Now he doesn’t answer when his telephone rings 8