First Day Of My Life

My heart is pounding in my chest So hard I think my ribs might break My stomach turns over and over And my palms are so damn sweaty I worry your mom might be blinded by the rays of sun reflecting off of them If I didn’t know any better I’d think my body had a pin ball machine inside it The music starts Is this really happening? Am I dreaming a good dream? Have I died and this is heaven? Am I more nervous or more excited? How did I get so lucky? The time between the first note of the piano And the doors opening Feels like an eternity I haven’t seen you all day And I want nothing more than to see how beautiful I know you look You step out and into the open door This framed vision of you Is better than any painting I have seen in my life I feel my breath hitch Seeing you standing there in all your glory The way the white dress cascades over your curves The way it contrasts with your skin The way Venus herself would turn green with envy at the sheer image of you And then you look at me My God, you look at me Your eyes meet mine and the world melts away from my periphery How do you do that? You hold my face in your hands and see me All of me Without ever making contact and 100ft away How is it that we’ve loved each other all this time And I still have butterflies seeing you now As if we’re about to meet all over again? Your dad comes into frame beside you He offers you his arm and you take it It reminds me of how it’s not just you who has shown me true love and kindness Your father loved me for me when mine didn’t love me at all I was welcomed into your home and truly accepted and nurtured It wasn’t fake It wasn’t a front to disguise disgust They knew I loved you and you loved me and it wasn’t a repulsive sin It was sacred This reality And the beauty of it Start to sink in As you take your first step together And my eyes well with tears Part of me starts to feel embarrassed for crying Quickly I remember how I have been blessed How proud I am to be yours How I want to brag about you to everyone I meet How I would declare my love for you from any rooftop and write it in the stars for the world to see How I would embrace the corniness of flying messages overhead with a blimp or spelled out in airplane trails to show how I love you How I would tattoo your name on the bottom of my foot like we were in Toy Story Wearing any symbol of belonging to you like a first place ribbon As you walk down the aisle As I’m still stunned by the radiance and beauty you possess in every square inch of you As tears continue to roll down my cheeks and I beg God to not wake me if this is a dream I try my hardest to remind myself how to breathe Inhale Exhale I try to not focus on the deafening sound of the blood pumping in my ears Inhale Exhale I try to remember how I got here That this moment was crafted into creation Years in the making That our love is on purpose When you reach me And I get to look at you Really, truly look at you All of my nerves and worries and fears are set on the back burner I look into your eyes and you look back at me Giving me that sweet, slight smile that brings me to my knees You slip your hand into mine and interlace our fingers And I’m transported to the first time I got the privilege of something so simple As holding your hand Sitting on my couch while the raindrops pelted the windows and the back of the AC Pretending to pay attention to the TV while internally doing backflips Feeling the way you traced your thumb over mine Feeling so at home there next to you That was the beginning of our story This is the beginning of the next chapter And I thank God our plots have joined together So that I may live out the rest of my days alongside you, my love