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My heart is pounding in my chest
So hard I think my ribs might break
My stomach turns over and over 
And my palms are so damn sweaty
I worry your mom might be blinded by the rays of sun reflecting off of them
If I didn’t know any better
I’d think my body had a pin ball machine inside it

The music starts
Is this really happening?
Am I dreaming a good dream?
Have I died and this is heaven?
Am I more nervous or more excited?
How did I get so lucky?

The time between the first note of the piano 
And the doors opening
Feels like an eternity 
I haven’t seen you all day
And I want nothing more than to see how beautiful I know you look 

You step out and into the open door
This framed vision of you 
Is better than any painting I have seen in my life
I feel my breath hitch
Seeing you standing there in all your glory
The way the white dress cascades over your curves
The way it contrasts with your skin 
The way Venus herself would turn green with envy at the sheer image of you

And then you look at me
My God, you look at me
Your eyes meet mine and the world melts away from my periphery 
How do you do that? 
You hold my face in your hands and see me
All of me
Without ever making contact and 100ft away
How is it that we’ve loved each other all this time
And I still have butterflies seeing you now
As if we’re about to meet all over again?

Your dad comes into frame beside you 
He offers you his arm and you take it
It reminds me of how it’s not just you who has shown me true love and kindness 
Your father loved me for me when mine didn’t love me at all
I was welcomed into your home and truly accepted and nurtured 
It wasn’t fake
It wasn’t a front to disguise disgust 
They knew I loved you and you loved me and it wasn’t a repulsive sin
It was sacred
This reality
And the beauty of it 
Start to sink in
As you take your first step together
And my eyes well with tears

Part of me starts to feel embarrassed for crying
Quickly I remember how I have been blessed
How proud I am to be yours
How I want to brag about you to everyone I meet
How I would declare my love for you from any rooftop and write it in the stars for the world to see
How I would embrace the corniness of flying messages overhead with a blimp or spelled out in airplane trails to show how I love you
How I would tattoo your name on the bottom of my foot like we were in Toy Story
Wearing any symbol of belonging to you like a first place ribbon

As you walk down the aisle
As I’m still stunned by the radiance and beauty you possess in every square inch of you
As tears continue to roll down my cheeks and I beg God to not wake me if this is a dream
I try my hardest to remind myself how to breathe
Inhale
Exhale
I try to not focus on the deafening sound of the blood pumping in my ears
Inhale 
Exhale
I try to remember how I got here
That this moment was crafted into creation
Years in the making
That our love is on purpose

When you reach me 
And I get to look at you
Really, truly look at you
All of my nerves and worries and fears are set on the back burner 
I look into your eyes and you look back at me
Giving me that sweet, slight smile that brings me to my knees

You slip your hand into mine and interlace our fingers
And I’m transported to the first time I got the privilege of something so simple
As holding your hand
Sitting on my couch while the raindrops pelted the windows and the back of the AC
Pretending to pay attention to the TV while internally doing backflips
Feeling the way you traced your thumb over mine 
Feeling so at home there next to you

That was the beginning of our story
This is the beginning of the next chapter 
And I thank God our plots have joined together 
So that I may live out the rest of my days alongside you, my love
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