Fighting God

Taught when young, eyes raised skyward, to speak
on my knees, to the ether, Sundays every week.
Thanks for the gift of life and length of days,
lined up along the pew the family prays.
Sunday school and learn the book by rote,
'ask and you'll receive' the promise quotes.
The years went by, still praying for some answers,
clutching at manger straw for any chances
that Divine Grace would save my Dad and Mum and brother,
invoking Mary, Queen of Heaven, perfect Mother.
But.......
Silence from the one we're told will save.
Three names etched out in gold, all on one grave.
No more.....
One last goodbye, one final genuflection.
I'll bend a knee no more to this deception.
Hush the choir now, close your pearly gates,
I'll walk alone now, master of my fate.
The Citadel of me, strong, solid walls
but inside, darkness- nothing there at all
except an icy longing, tinged with pain.
Pews creak, and I'm kneeling down again.
Can't tell you why I'm here, no reason why
but once again the newborn Saviour cries.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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Hobbs Avatar
September 3, 2018 at 6:32 AM
This definitely conveys the real struggle between pain, reason, and faith. To quote a personal favorite song "Some say to doubt's disappointing, but I say to question is to understand..." Thank you for sharing!
Downing  Avatar
October 5, 2016 at 7:46 PM
It's beautifully heartfelt!
Wigley Avatar
October 6, 2016 at 1:24 AM
Thanks, Akkina, I appreciate your visit and your comments, Viv x
U.D Palawon  Avatar
October 5, 2016 at 12:38 PM
I think at least once in life we are brought to this question...on the existence of God. But as far as we feel free believing in it in our own way, we get all the answers...Well done. :)
Wigley Avatar
October 6, 2016 at 1:24 AM
Thanks, Sunita, indeed we must dwell on such things. Viv x
Godwin Avatar
October 18, 2015 at 3:23 AM
OKAY, either all your poems are heart-wrenching or I just made a right-on second choice! I am blown away. You can do emotion in rhyme form. Yes. I sit just staring at the screen, searching for words to say how your words got me. Yi ... CayCay (I wonder, is it safe to read another?)
Wigley Avatar
October 18, 2015 at 4:06 AM
Thanks Cay Cay, you're too kind. For light relief, may I suggest reading my 'a Pirates life for me', 'tea with bigfoot', 'bumbly bee' and 'learn to dance'. I occasionally do wistful, namely 'Millpond daybreak' and 'love in a far off place'. Just in case you end up landing on another tear-jerker. Thanks for taking the time to browse, Cay Cay, I'm honoured. Viv x
Lindley Avatar
May 29, 2015 at 6:38 AM
Truly great poem. I too once fought God, end up found that I was fighting myself. My life totally changed after decades of running down the wrong path. A 7 on this great poem, deserves a 10 IMHO.
Wigley Avatar
May 29, 2015 at 7:16 AM
Thanks Robert, we all walk a rocky path. One can sometimes see where the hymn 'fight the good fight' got it's name. Have a good weekend. Blessings, Viv
A  Avatar
February 16, 2015 at 12:23 AM
Viv, CONGRATS on your win ~ SKAT ~
Wigley Avatar
February 17, 2015 at 7:45 AM
Wow! Thanks for your support x
Carmack Avatar
February 12, 2015 at 4:22 AM
Congrats Viv, and thanks for participating in my contest.
Wigley Avatar
February 17, 2015 at 7:47 AM
Thanks, Rob. A tricky contest subject, but we're all fighting our Gods on a daily basis. Enjoyed the challenge.
A. Sharma Avatar
February 12, 2015 at 4:12 AM
Wonderful write Viv,, congrats on a much deserved big win!
Wigley Avatar
February 17, 2015 at 7:48 AM
Thanks, Upma, for your support x
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