Fear of Failure

I know you don't want to hurt or even disappoint me And I know you don't want to hurt yourself. Yet still your shame and self-blame hurt Your self-judging punishing closet frame suffocates our transparent life my caring curiosity craves, and mutual vulnerability our sharing courage braves. Addiction to feeling happy is not free and connected to sensory satisfaction nor to ego significant gratification and certainly does not feed natural and water spiritual bilateral wealth of healthy feeling transubstantiation, Which, as you know, I also recognize as body and mind healthy choice transformation voices. Before you even small ego-voice object, I also recognize you may feel natural v spiritual choice has nothing to do with driving off without "goodbye, see you safely soon." If no physically tolerable choice of resources to feed serotonin and water dopamine, I know, from years of isolated, neglected depressive experience, how frightening loss of lonely yet sufficient ego-powered control can feel chronic lack of thrival. Speaking not of win/win choice, but inside swatting interminable win/lose Voice never still until you self-shame and blame hiding hurts and unfree frames us both, unhappy you, not Here, And me loving EarthNatured EgoSpirited enough for Us, not yet togathered Now Still worrying what will voiceless nonchoice happen disempowered There and unenlightened Then 'til suddenly Amen Our silently uninvited apartheid End.