Fat Santa Equals Happy Santa

3:00 a.m. who can this be? I walk down the corrider and my eyes are drawn to the chimney 3:02 a.m. and what do I see? American obesity covered in red What a wonderful present, santa dead 3:03 a.m. how did we let this happen? By injecting cookie dough syringes in milk I wonder does Rudolph and the other eight keep laughing 3:04 a.m. you fat bastard where is my nitebrite? Oh! apparently in your stomach And it's 22 years past that fateful night That at 3:05 a.m. my Christmas dreams collapsed You we're too busy snacking on my gifts To feel my little girl taps So at 3:06 a.m. I gave it up Brought out some more cookies, you fat bastard! And of course I'll refill your milk jug 3;07 a.m. I waved goodbye and said a prayer Hoping that if there's a God up there You won't get stuck in the air Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! Oh! and here goes some extra ho-ho's for the road