Fat Santa Equals Happy Santa
3:00 a.m. who can this be?
I walk down the corrider
and my eyes are drawn to the chimney
3:02 a.m. and what do I see?
American obesity covered in red
What a wonderful present, santa dead
3:03 a.m. how did we let this happen?
By injecting cookie dough syringes in milk
I wonder does Rudolph and the other eight keep laughing
3:04 a.m. you fat bastard where is my nitebrite?
Oh! apparently in your stomach
And it's 22 years past that fateful night
That at 3:05 a.m. my Christmas dreams collapsed
You we're too busy snacking on my gifts
To feel my little girl taps
So at 3:06 a.m. I gave it up
Brought out some more cookies, you fat bastard!
And of course I'll refill your milk jug
3;07 a.m. I waved goodbye and said a prayer
Hoping that if there's a God up there
You won't get stuck in the air
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Oh! and here goes some extra ho-ho's for the road
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