False Wishes

You seem happy But of course, everyone puts on an act A full face of non-existent make up You put it on before you take the first step out your door I do not despise all happy people But I prefer the un-happy people the ones who are real I envy those with joy The ones who get to go home to a house, one that gives hope I wished to have a house, somewhere of my own Every home I have had to had to flee Not by choice usually Circumstance leaves me in a cage, A flightless bird I wish to have a love But I am inept, uncappable of what I want most Its been there before but it has never stayed I wish for him back I wish to have back the men who broke me The number keeps growing some I knew forever Some I don’t know at all I wish to have power over myself again Free-will is a lie like Santa to children Its never really real, anyone can take it away They can abuse you and leave you broken I am not glass, I wasn’t fragile nor easy to break My true wish is to go back Back to that one moment I ed it all up There’s always one moment If I could go back could I change it Could I stop my inevitable loneliness? Could I finally take the step out the front door