Fake Booze

I never real understood The concept of alcohol free booze Alcohol free beer Alcohol free wine I don’t get Mocktales And I don’t get fruit beer And coffee beer And other the other weirdo drinks That people drink these days I mean when you drink booze You want the alcohol You want the buzz You need the booze And you want it now And frankly fake booze Just does not do it for me So please no fake beer No mocktails No fake wine for me As the song puts it One scotch, one bourbon And one beer So, either give me the real deal Or give me a cup of tea Or coffee or water or juice Or whatever But don’t serve me fake booze