Face My Feelings
My feelings are a commodity
But what good is it when nobody's buying
My pen drips venom on this paper
A scarlet ink that forms words
It's my own blood
Because I pour my soul into this
But what good is a truth
When everyone wants a lie
What good is a smile
When it's just pain masquerading as pleasure
What good is success
When you give up your identity to get it
And just going to sleep is a struggle
Because you've never attained inner peace
They don't know what it's like to realize
Lies bleed from the eyes and bring demise
And I despise the way my heart skips a beat
Around a person who will never love me
But I'm not here to prattle on
I'm here to talk about my feelings
When they sat me down in a white walled room
And simply stared at me as I stared back
It's frightening to see my own soul
There are truths I can't deny
Truths nobody else will ever know
And those eyes just simply gaze at me
With apathy or empathy I just don't know
And it wreaks havoc on my mind
So I start screaming and sobbing
Until my veins are throbbing
Just trying to evoke some emotion
In those silent eyes passing judgement
But isn't it so ironic then
I judge myself harsher than anyone else
Without even saying a single syllable
Just say something back
But my soul doesn't speak
So I lean in and I punch my soul
With cracks appearing over
Until my soul shatters before my eyes
And I realize the one great truth
The only one doing damage to my soul
Is me and my feelings aren't a commodity
My feelings are an illusion of what it feels like to feel
No, my feelings aren't a commodity
They just confuse everyone else
Who sees something when they gaze in my eyes
That I never saw
So I'll take these disjointed feelings
And use emotions as the glue
To slowly piece my fractured soul together
And when my job is done
I peer into those same silent eyes
And whisper the following words:
"I love you."
Copyright © Christopher Goss | Year Posted 2019
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