Everyone Needs a Mansion Now
Photographers on the lawn were making such a fuss
Woke me up to tell me I was now in Queen of every country.
You mean in this hemisphere? I asked them. But no….
They meant I was Her Royal Highness In charge of the whole Universe.
What? Soon as I realized they were serious, I started making rules.
My first decree was that it was illegal to be a photographer now.
Go to jail or scoop out the fresh warm manure from the livestock barn.
Enormous poopy pigs are there, so they left quietly after a bit of squawking.
I decided that everyone needed a mansion, a fancy car and a swimming pool.
Some creepy politicians questioned this, so I chopped their heads off.
It seemed easier and less stressful than me arguing with the idiots.
All businesses had to go to barter and accept whatever anyone wanted to give.
If someone brings a dried leaf and wants a haircut, so be it. Accept the leaf.
Do not be crabby about it either, plebian. Be gracious and pretend you like it.
All people have to pretend they like each other. That was my main rule.
How did it get clear down to number 565 on the list? Had I taken my meds?
My most popular rule was
That everyone could drive as fast as they dared.
The sixteen-year-old drivers loved this one.
It went to number one on the list in no time!
Rule 2: I have peanut butter pancake waffles for breakfast every morning.
I loved being ruler of the world!
I was so good at it!
And I was powerfully loved until one of the sixteen-year-old drivers
accidentally ran over my car.
Written 8-24-2020
Contest: If I Ruled the World
Sponsor: Chantelle Anne Cooke
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