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Empty Castles

She eats "ice cream castles" from the air Now there are no clouds anywhere Within blue skies the world is clear She stretchs her hand to bring him near Climbing upward on a "ferris wheel" From luscious lips a kiss to steal They know love, from "both sides now" A pleasured moment a broken vow Sad and smokey, tortured eyes Within metal cocoon, they try to rise As the wheel turns, both shall fall They want everything, but can't have it all The ride is over, the game is done They can't share their story with anyone The castle crumbles, clouds back in the air She dreams her dream and still smell his hair Lonely is the path, some lovers choose She sits with red wine and sing the blues As smoke dances, on thickened air She loves a lover who isn't there Ode to Joni Mitchell's Artistry! The words in quotes are from her song "Both Sides Now". Written July 20th 2014 For Greg Barden's "The Poet's Ear Contest"

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Susan Ashley

Date: 7/30/2017 8:53:00 PM

Hi Richard, I remember the song well, always loved it and I love your poem too, just beautiful! :)

Afzal Nusker

Date: 7/30/2017 10:43:00 AM

Richard, such a fantastic poem you have penned. Loved every bit of it. Congrats!

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 7/30/2017 12:56:00 AM

Wonderfully-penned and creatively crafted, Richard ... I loved everything about this great poem! Congrats on SIXTH PLACE!!

Verlena S. Walker

Date: 8/17/2014 6:35:00 PM

Very nice and a beautiful ending Rick... Verlena

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/17/2014 6:37:00 PM

Thanks Verlena, I enjoyed writing this piece.

Ralph Sergi

Date: 8/8/2014 5:00:00 PM

Hi Richard: Regarding both sides now, I did enter but I didn't place. Better luck next time.

Ralph Sergi

Date: 8/8/2014 8:49:00 AM

Congratulations, Richard: Terrific simile!

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/8/2014 8:53:00 AM

Hi Ralph, thanks.

Shadow Hamilton

Date: 8/5/2014 6:55:00 PM

fantastic imagery Rick and so dreamy hugs

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/5/2014 7:05:00 PM

Thanks and a big hug back to you.

Casarah Nance

Date: 8/4/2014 7:54:00 PM

Back again to applaud you on your win ;) HUGS, your good baby :)

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/4/2014 8:00:00 PM

Thanks Casarah, I was pleased this one made the list.

D.W. Rodgers

Date: 8/4/2014 11:05:00 AM

Too true, but yet I suspect there are no regrets. congrats on your win.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/4/2014 6:58:00 PM

Perhaps a few.

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 8/4/2014 1:28:00 AM

Nice perspective you have chosen, a great approach to the theme, Richard. Congrats

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/4/2014 6:59:00 PM

Jan Allison

Date: 8/3/2014 7:26:00 AM

Dropping back with my congratulations:-) Hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/2/2014 8:55:00 PM

I sure remember this gem, Richard.BIG congrats to you. It looks like very few of us made the list. and also,I don't recall reading many in this category. but I sure do remember yours.

Carrie Richards

Date: 8/2/2014 3:37:00 PM

wow, you have reached beyond the clouds for this one, and it is wonderful! So much metaphor, and beauty, and ending to a sad love song. well deserved accolades, Richard!

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/2/2014 6:59:00 PM

Thanks so much Carrie.

Paul Callus

Date: 8/2/2014 2:19:00 PM

Glad to be back and have my initial liking for this poem confirmed! Congratulations Richard....a very deserved win! // paul

Pandita Sietesantos

Date: 8/2/2014 11:38:00 AM

Fantastic imagery, excellently crafted, brilliance all around - just a work of pure art! I love it! Congratulations on the wonderful win!

Ct Duet

Date: 8/2/2014 11:37:00 AM

nice chicky :)

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

Date: 8/2/2014 11:12:00 AM

Brilliant u did it from a female perspective,, great idea ,, wonderful win,, big congrats Richard! why writes on 'him' rather than her r more captivating ?

Laura Breidenthal

Date: 8/1/2014 11:39:00 AM

Very interesting and heartfelt piece here. The images of the Ferris wheel and the ice cream castle invokes to me childhood nostalgia. I agree that the poem flows so nicely, like the turning of a Ferris wheel, the poem reaches a height and then down to earth... this has a very sad touch that I both admire and find intriguing. Lovely work. Always,Laura

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/1/2014 2:40:00 PM

I am so pleased you enjoyed this piece. Thanks again for taking time to look through my writing.

Justin Bordner

Date: 7/30/2014 2:55:00 AM

Love is love..." empty castles " thats poignant metaphor. I like your " soul searching " poetry Richard. J.A.B.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/30/2014 7:48:00 AM

I give credit to Arthur for the title, after reading my piece this title came to mind.

Robert Lindley

Date: 7/26/2014 10:03:00 PM

This looks just like a winner to me.. A great take on it and very interesting writing it from a female's viewpoint. " Lonely is the path, some lovers choose I sit with red wine and sing my blues As smoke dances, on thickened air I love a lover that isn't there" Last stanza caps it off so very well!!

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/30/2014 7:46:00 AM

Thanks Robert, it is a surreal feeling to be quoted. Much appreciated.

Eileen Manassian

Date: 7/25/2014 9:52:00 PM

I love what you did with this, Richard. I listened to the song for the first time a few days ago. Was going to write something, but...life has been so hectic lately with my brother's family visiting. Good luck on the contest....Loving a lover that isn't there is the most painful experience in life...ever.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/25/2014 11:43:00 PM

Amazing song and the painting had a haunting feel to it. Enjoy your company, I am in Vancouver the next five days,

Jan Allison

Date: 7/24/2014 3:04:00 PM

wonderful imagery Richard and there is a beautiful flow to the poem rather like a song. hugs jan xxx

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/25/2014 8:13:00 AM

Thanks Jan.

Casarah Nance

Date: 7/24/2014 1:12:00 PM

Dang baby! what a write! I love it. Very descriptive that tugs a bunch of different emotions. Your words rock!

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/25/2014 8:15:00 AM

I'm pleased you like this one. I enjoyed writing it.

Monterey Sirak

Date: 7/24/2014 6:22:00 AM

Brilliant piece! It flows rhythmically (is that spelled right?) like water singing over smooth rocks in a peaceful brook.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/24/2014 7:24:00 AM

Thanks Monterey, yes I think it is spelled right.

Robert Nehls

Date: 7/24/2014 1:37:00 AM

This one is such a pleasure to read Richard. The imagery is very captivating. The rhymes and meter make it flow like a great song and I totally enjoyed this one..... Robert.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/24/2014 7:25:00 AM

What a nice comment and visit Robert. Thanks so much.