Ejecting the Monologue

I love how twilight transforms My curtains currently are an art work Of light, shade and mystery Where the growing light creeps in Producing patterns and pictures Giving places unnoticed previously The limelight, a moment in time Imperfections add character Ever changing as I observe That tiny patch of wallpaper I hyper focus on To check if there's anything I've missed It's not always about honing in When stepping back reveals more The complete picture So much clearer when not Too close Maybe I'm alright too If I crawl into the recesses of my mind It's all a bit pixelated and I need to step back I might step off the stage for a bit Maybe read my reviews I dived into the friends Whataspp last night Threw my heart into a deep chat My friends responses to my angle on the situation with no up sides was a joy to see "you have a wonderful way with words..." & "you always know just what to say" It would be amazing if I did that to myself I can solution like nobody's business, little miss fix it, adjust perception, accept it, project past it, figure it out x 10 - yet I sit with an unformed question stuck in limbo with myself Another great thing about lighting... the mirror confirmed my cheekbones haven't actually disappeared like a bad photo suggested The best and the worst can sometimes be a trick of the light An extreme close-up Or the wrongly worded question What do I want today? To stop doing my own head in... Am I doing my own head in? Slightly but I've actually squished up and decided not to deal with some big stuff and told myself I have no right to feel bad when I know for a fact if I shared this no one would say it's a pull your socks up situation Am I dealing with it today? Obviously not, I'm really busy not thinking about it Can I put it in the bin? No, it's doing my head in What is the answer? Thinking space, joy, black forest gateau Ok try that I'm too lazy to pick up the cake Forget the cake and eat fruit I'm too lazy to walk into the next room Treat that as hurdle number 1 Ok What is this? It's either wisdom or a crazy rant Maybe it's both? I can't remember which of these voices is the wise one? It's me, go and eat a satsuma and perk up Righto.