The Blews

head heavy in hands squeezing pounding temples trapped in a trance seated in this place of emptiness and despair the place that has welcomed all of my fears and fractures my heart pounds erratically my eyes swollen and shot a hypnotic gaze into the somber gray stone tile floor that I’m sure is hiding the demons I have chosen to ignore the ventilation fan is loud and deafening please stop, please stop for God’s sake! the churning acid arouses anxiety in my angry pit my blurry awakening shameful face is exposed and shunned a fading illusion of my demand that I’ve had enough I’m finally done what does this vicious cycle have in store just like yesterdays just like tomorrows “bite the hair” the temptation to escape always near addiction is a seductive liar that manipulates and deceives not willing to seek restraint until every sense of self-worth is destroyed and torched in fire my mind twists painfully in a chaotic frenzy memories that won’t decompose a persistent clamor reliving the bowels of a drained and disappointed past the blews persist, unyielding in their grip a lifetime, of dark and ugly people of dark and ugly decisions mind drifts, to even darker uglier thoughts