Each Day

Each morning I think of a reason Not to kill myself. Each morning I trust my judgment Less and less. Each afternoon I keep wondering Why I keep going on. Each afternoon I resent the children And their happy ignorance. Each evening I put the gun in my hand Finger on the trigger. Each evening I put the gun down I'm too afraid. Each day Takes a little more Of my happiness. Each day Shows me bitterly How it could have been. Each of you Look away Blindly. Each of you Won't notice me Disappear. Each bullet In this weapon Sings a song to me. Each bullet Hums the tune Of sweet release. Each and every day I imagine The end. Each and every day Isn't today.