Dying To Give Up
All those times you tried so hard to
bury your demons once again,
and all the times you failed.
Always on the ledge just postponing
the inevitable and...
-dying to give up.
The apprehension of yesterday
brought dictated remorse for
tomorrow.
It all happened so fast-
Too fast to remember, yet too
slow to forget.
Shadows creep and I can't sleep
as I fear for the worst.
You trying.
You crying
You dying.
And now, here I sit face down, head in
my knees, with eyes too wet to cry.
There was glass under my toes, and
water down my throat,
drowning and bleeding too nervous to
show my true emotional sensitivity-
For your emptiness had been filled with
regretted pictures of days gone by,
while my psyche had filled with shadowed
anticipation-
Waiting for your afflicted misery being
accompanied by desires to fight or give
up in vain.
Anxiety of waiting for phone calls
at night-
Nightmares about what you'd try to do to
hurt yourself one more time...
and how you would finally end it all.
I tried putting myself in your shoes, but it
never mattered, I still died in the end-
Full of fear and apprehension, like you, just
-dying to give up.
Fear Contest
November 1, 2015
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