Dying To Give Up

All those times you tried so hard to
bury your demons once again,
and all the times you failed.
Always on the ledge just postponing 
the inevitable and...
                  -dying to give up. 

The apprehension of yesterday
brought dictated remorse for
tomorrow. 
It all happened so fast-
Too fast to remember, yet too
slow to forget. 
Shadows creep and I can't sleep
as I fear for the worst. 

You trying. 
You crying 
You dying. 

And now, here I sit face down, head in 
my knees, with eyes too wet to cry.
There was glass under my toes, and 
water down my throat,
drowning and bleeding too nervous to 
show my true emotional sensitivity-
For your emptiness had been filled with 
regretted pictures of days gone by, 
while my psyche had filled with shadowed 
anticipation-
Waiting for your afflicted misery being 
accompanied by desires to fight or give 
up in vain.

Anxiety of waiting for phone calls 
at night-
Nightmares about what you'd try to do to
hurt yourself one more time...
and how you would finally end it all. 
I tried putting myself in your shoes, but it 
never mattered, I still died in the end- 
Full of fear and apprehension, like you, just 
                   -dying to give up. 
         


Fear Contest
November 1, 2015
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Johnson-Saunders Avatar
February 24, 2017 at 11:06 PM
Wow, Luloo! So sad...I can't imagine anything worse to fear. Congrats on your win with this powerful write! Hugs, Rhonda
Dietrich Avatar
February 23, 2017 at 7:25 PM
Laura, you described the feelings of your ordeal and hers with fine craftsmanship. A well deserved win in the contest. Congratulations.
Hamilton Avatar
February 23, 2017 at 11:00 AM
Sooo sad, I feel each word each time, congrats on a win seems so futile when it's about such a loss!
U.D Palawon  Avatar
February 22, 2017 at 9:07 PM
Awesome. Congrats!
Krampe Avatar
February 22, 2017 at 6:45 PM
Congrats on your placement. Powerful poem with so much pain. Hugs.
Vinson Avatar
February 22, 2017 at 4:19 PM
Wow, Laura, powerful, sad and real.
Scars Avatar
February 22, 2017 at 5:42 PM
thank you Doug :)-luloo
Artis Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 7:09 PM
Congratulations on the well-deserved win:)
Scars Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 8:10 PM
Thank you Elis, be blessed :) -LU xxx
A  Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 11:33 AM
nice win
Scars Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 8:09 PM
thank you
Inman Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 7:49 AM
Laura, beautifully written painful write. Difficult to read but as difficult to stop once you've started.
Scars Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 8:09 PM
Thank you James :) Be blessed :) -LU xxx
Juman Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 4:30 AM
Powerful laura
Scars Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 8:07 PM
Thank you :) Be blessed -LUxxx
Oule Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 4:22 AM
Laura Congs upon your win, I loved this poem, My Fav line "Anxiety of waiting for phone calls at night,"
Oule Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 11:19 PM
Laura Hugs too Love Bryan.. xxxx
Scars Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 8:06 PM
Thank you Bryan :) -LU xxx
Wigley Avatar
November 9, 2015 at 10:08 PM
Terrific write, Laura, congrats and well done! Viv x
Scars Avatar
November 10, 2015 at 8:07 PM
Thank you Viv for your kind review :) -LU xxx
Lane Avatar
November 9, 2015 at 7:33 PM
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story, Laura. Congratulations to you for your win. ~ Lin ~
Scars Avatar
November 9, 2015 at 7:44 PM
Thank you Lin :) Be blessed -LU xxx
Lamoureux Avatar
November 9, 2015 at 6:30 PM
This is my personal favourite. You brought your emotions to the forefront. Thanks for sharing such a personal story with such sensitivity. Congratulations on your placement.
Scars Avatar
November 9, 2015 at 7:43 PM
Thank you Richard :) Be blessed -LU xxx
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace