Down the rabbit hole kicking

Dull thud of daylight, I trust you Boredom, I welcome you I dare catch my bitter eyes in the mirror Warm solidity recognizing myself within I am not happy But I exist Have you ever rejected the world? Refused it, just denied any semblance of acceptance Raised a middle finger protesting some inapplicable idea of fairness Simply stopped moving, unable to cognize the fog of difficulty descending Splintered yourself past remembering how the pieces fit Closed emotion and awareness, let loose an automaton Desired only distance and distraction To freeze over and disappear And succeeded Disturbing questions haunt the flickering phantasm awareness becomes A maddening funhouse…rolling, shaking, jerking on a broken circuit Stillborn memories fly by Detachment deteriorates into a disconcerting duality of identity Observing a mysterious entity conduct daily life… …that obscure movie blurs into the present periodically Emotions rotate like slides speeding through a projector Skipping by ignored or sticking, enlarged, inordinately long Paranoia…no thought or perception can be verified, validated No place to be. Reassembling body, mind, heart and soul as one Emotion finally haven given knowledge open access to remodel Identifying a course of action Plotting a trail of ever more forgiving tasks Back to standing up a little straighter Awake, witnessing the reliable sky…invaluable Accept