Dont Get Me Started

Why is technology more difficult to grasp, the more they try to simplify it? Take the computer for example, when it first came out it was big, expensive and bulky and not in use for the common man or woman. Then a strange group of hybred humans, left their caves, bedrooms and Mama's homes and walked out into the sunlight and into our simple lives and with outstretched hands presented us with the PC and manna rained down from heaven, Amen. These angels were lovingly refered to as 'techno-geeks' and now all those bored housewives could leave the drudgery of darned socks, dishes and present their husbands with a coupon for fast food, junior's carseat, junior and a 'bring me back a Big Mac, large fries and oh yeah a diet coke, got to watch my weight!' She then entered her 'sanctuary' and hubby left to the sound of tap,tap, tapping of little fingers on the keys. Then someone said, 'I want to do more!' and 'Multi-tasking' was born on the earth and it was all good, Amen! Here I was, wrapped up in typewriter ribbon and having carbon paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe, blissfully unaware of the giants of progress and they searched me out and I was offered a free PC if I signed up for two years internet! 'Interwhat I said?' Then the tech,gleefully rubbed her hands together and whispered, 'My precious!' I could have sworn I heard a couple of 'gollums' in there as well. Six weeks later, a bulky package appears and a brand new silver shiny thing, called a hard drive, I blanched at the word 'hard', a modem, a reference book, big enough to choke a horse, eek and plugs and wires that went somewhere! Luckily my seven year old nephew, put it altogether for me and turned it on. It sat like that for days as I hopelessly sifted through the alien words in my manual, spittle dribbling down my face and a glazed look in my eyes, it making those whirring and beeping noises as if it was annoyed with me. I glanced at my typewriter, but it turned its back to me, highly affronted and saying, 'Traitor!' under its breath. Well finally after agonizing over the PC, I have graduated to a 'laptop', left gradeschool at last, hallelujah! This comes with all the 'bells and whistles', wifi, bluetooth capability, I have a webcam and I can watch movies, download or upload music and multitask with my hands tied behind my back! Argh, umm, now where did I put that typewriter? ©Jane Richer 01/10/2012