Dog Thoughts

DOG THOUGHTS Out at last and oh boy am I gonna enjoy this one Leg-up, ahhhhhhhhhh, there’s one for the poodle next door to envy He ‘ll be calling for me pretty soon, cross the road (as if I can’t do it by myself And get a in a bit of car-chasing to boot) with him. So gotta get to the corner and sniff who’s been and how long ago. But whoa! What’s that scent I feel in the breeze? A cat? Excellent, I need to chase one of those furry tree-climbers - Just show ‘em who owns this stretch of the street…OK…here goes…. Excuse me for a mo….woof, woof, snarl, woof, woof: Just a bit of theatrical dog-voice there. He’d kill me if I did it at home. Oh yeah, I figured, now he’s gonna put on the leash As a kinda statement that “he owns this stretch of street” Ok, it’s on now but he’s gonna have to pay: his muscles will be tired Cos I am pulling the wrong way all the time, and even when he tightens The leash, I’m a-gonna want to be ahead of him whichever way he goes: We're talking arm-out-of-socket after half an hour. Hey up lads! Another corner, stop for a good sniff, make him wait: On his “tight leash” he’s gonna have to stand near the crap heap - Ok quick leg-up, no liquid but just gotta do it - Demo of who-owns-what-corner around here you know. Now it’s the neighbour’s poodle, “Oh hi, how are you? Let me sniff your rear-end a good bit, mmmmmm.” Then I’ll lick his hand friendly-like and he’ll have to wash that hand when we’re home. Just showing him who owns the butt-sniffing rights around here. Ok so it’s the newspaper shop ritual, gotta show a little obedience here. How’d you like a rolled paper in your mouth for fifteen minutes? And no drools on it or else he’ ll have a fit. And all the guys laugh at me with the roll in my mouth as I pass I tell you, man .....It’s a dog’s life.