Disbelief

I can't believe I didn't listen to my own words of wisdom, or to the advice of respected others on this incident of life. I couldn't imagine these words coming from you to me, not in the time or place you told me, nor how the words came across. Words of wisdom blew down the drain, washed by temptation away, now I the heavy cost must pay. You knew how it went because you sent many others on this road. Is this the road I'm on traveling obviously blind? Am I jumping in the mud holes, enjoying the muck and grind? You warned me for future relationships or was the warning for me to be warned from you? Will I get in deeper only to find I have disappeared from the ladder, and could smell the muck and grind. I came out lucky with only a scar or two, but next time you say "I might not." "I could be in too deep." So why do I keep going, and bucking against the grain? How could I think all is sunny, and not feel the beating rain?