Dipped in jelousy

You told her how I was feeling about you and did not even talk about it with me. Hearing her telling you: "I don't think she meant that way", and you responding: "ofcourse, I mean.." What picture are you painting? What will she blurr out or add? Why am I needing to see it and can't fill what the teacher is teaching about physics? How aren't you two seeing me? Why can't I pat on his hand and she may hold the brush while he moves it? When my love did start to disappear and also the jelousy towards her, I started again defend other girls of your stupid words, rumors saying: "pull yourself together". And since that sentence I have spoken you dragged my projects down but when she did it you just ignored her. And just took a seperate way. Or..did you change? If, thank god. Good someone could influence you how you did to me. With the love you accepted to give how I did. I still didn't talk my jelousy infront of me. I did like her. And her hair. And her humor. It took time to understand that you drove the car and I was screaming at you sitting at the front seat not with the seatbelt even though you told me too several times and she just seeing it all from across the street. I took the risk to step in. You took the risk to leave the car whenever you want. And she took the risk to stop or just walk past it. I don't blame any option she would take on her. Since you were loving her you saw all of us in Black. Since I needed to heal, I tried to aviod and saw you as a ghost. Who you don't need to thank. Who you don't need to forgive. Who you don't need to be mad at. Who you don't need to speak to. After you droped your jelousy out my mouth came crier. After I answered cold I left you embarassed. I, in the end cried. You, in the end where going all red. I was hurt. You were wronged.