Devil's Got a Hold of Me

Since I turned 14 the devils had a hold of me He gave depression control of me He introduced bipolar to be involved with me And asked anxiety to roll with me I've fought the demons but they enjoyed the abuse I'm dealing with so much, so I avoid the news Because it makes me sad knowing kids are dying and I can't make a difference Depression leaves me barely able to leave bed, I can't escape the system I got spoken to by a baphomet Said he was impressed that I survived being dragged through hell and he wants me to be an advocate Wanted me to lie to people and make him seem like a good person Told him I couldn't do it Offered to give him my soul and told him he could torture and abuse it If he won't make anyone else go through it But he said that's not good enough he wants to cause a lot more hurting I've just got to sit by and watch it happen He laughed because he can do what he wants and blame innocent people for his actions I'd rather save others even if it means I'm in danger But I find it hard to trust friends and I feel more comfortable with strangers I have my wall up so people can't get close I'm tired of repeatedly trying to fix what is broke The world is against me but I don't care I battle suicidal thoughts daily and even tried, so why would I fear? Depression has had me In its grasp since I was 14 and won't let go of me I can't be saved because depression has a hold of me