Get Your Premium Membership

desert eyes

I wandered the desert in awe
of all the wonders I saw.
But when I stopped to pee,
who was watching me?
(I’m quite sure I heard a guffaw).

Cameras everywhere, eyes in the sky,
Border Patrol, DEA, playing I-SPY,
Made me shiver
I gave a quiver
and shook my slow-draining guy.

Heaven forbid I should fart!
(to me a true work of art)
They’d probably arrest me
and surely sequest me
Authorities must play their part!

Off to the jailhouse I’d go
Me and my weewee so slow
An old desert rat
and a damn silly hat
paraded like crim’nals on show.

For a few bucks they’d set me free.
No law against taking a pee.
They’ve big fish to fry
like those who still try
to escape by hiding in tree.

Send those Mexicans home!
(and all the others who roam)
Build a wall
make it tall
and put ‘em in jail if they POEM!

It’s not my political bent
but everywhere I went
I surely saw
the long-armed law
but they don’t make a dent

In the flow of drugs
or illegal bugs.
Humanity.
Insanity!
Anyone need some hugs?

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




Post Comments
Please Login to post a comment
Date: 9/19/2017 1:23:00 PM
I had to come back for another giggle or two. I still want my hug.
Login to Reply
Date: 9/2/2017 8:07:00 AM
Meeeee!!!! I laughed and chortled and guffawed at this piece. Witty but with a point. Oh when you get the wall built Don Don how far down will it go?
Login to Reply
CRESSWELL Avatar
PATRICIA CRESSWELL
Date: 9/19/2017 1:22:00 PM
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 9/7/2017 8:17:00 AM
About time to head south for the winter. Gotta check on the Don — see how's he's coming along with that wall. Watta goofball!
Date: 6/9/2017 1:33:00 PM
Your poem is a prize for sure, but I don't think a wall is the cure. I know a Mexican man who works as hard as he can to send money back home to those who can't roam, who are starving and dying in droves. And as everyone should know freedom on trees doesn't grow. Ask the Chinese, the Greeks and Lebanise, the English and French, the Irish and the "Scotch", the Italians and Cubans. Remember we're all humans.
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 6/10/2017 7:46:00 AM
Thanks for stopping by Carole. This was meant to be facetious, I am not a wall fan, nor a fan of the proposer of same. Many folks dying nearly every day in this area (especially during the warmer months). Several charitable groups place water and food in the desert for relief. I saw evidence of our citizenry destroying these life-saving caches — pretty damn disgusting.
Date: 4/4/2017 3:51:00 PM
I know what you mean, John. And yeah - the desert. Man oh man, the desert....
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 6/10/2017 7:37:00 AM
Well howdy Doug. Sorry I missed thanking you for the visit. Better late than never I hope. Cheerios! ~ john
Date: 2/21/2017 8:47:00 AM
The rock which you hid behind had eyes, as well as the drone in the sky, feeling like you were on the Truman show, even when you had to go! Great fun poem John!~Che :)
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 3/24/2017 8:45:00 AM
Oh, I missed you! Back in the land of decent internet, so I'll be by to visit. Hope you had a good winter. You prob'ly got them magnolia bloomers all 'round ya by now, no? Cheeroids! ~ j
Date: 2/21/2017 8:38:00 AM
Lol!
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 3/24/2017 8:44:00 AM
Hi Mike. Sorry I'm late;-0
Date: 2/15/2017 10:48:00 AM
Trump Truck caused a deep dump; When on him they did he became an old grump. When we will build a wall, and for that trick fall, will carpet needed have to be wall to wall?
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 3/24/2017 8:44:00 AM
Hi James. Thanks for visin't my sillies. Sorry so long to say howdy backatcha, but I had a bad connection there for a coupla months. Truck on mister!
Date: 2/13/2017 12:41:00 PM
Take you're time...you're doing fine..."No matter how much you shake, wiggle or dance...a few drops always run down your pants."
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 3/24/2017 8:42:00 AM
Jean! How the help are ya? Oh you made me smile (of course you speak truth!). Sorry so long to say thanks for visit'n - the dang slow internet got me down and I gave up talking for a bit. But I'm home now so LOOK OUT! Huggerootskies! ~ John
Date: 2/13/2017 9:12:00 AM
Now it seems you my friend are the master of funny! Thanks for your visit and comment.
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 3/24/2017 8:40:00 AM
Hi Richard! Thanks for stop'n by. Sorry so long to reply. I was in cyber-void for a while;-).
Date: 2/12/2017 12:08:00 PM
- Yes that's exactly what I need today - and a smile and hugs, John - Well done :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 3/24/2017 8:39:00 AM
Hi A L! Big huggers to ya. Sorry so late in reply, I was in a cyber void;-)
Date: 2/12/2017 1:02:00 AM
Well Done my friend. This is too cute and has an important message as well. I agree to a point but it's sort of like leaving your front door open all the time. No telling who or what will just walk in and make off with all you own. One must show caution. God Bless, JB
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 3/24/2017 8:38:00 AM
Hi JB. Sorry so long to say "thanks for the visit." Had third-world internet for a couple months. Well, I never met a cacti I didn't like and brought enough sand home (in my shoes) to build a beach so it was a good winter over all;-). Cheerduckins! ~ john
Date: 2/11/2017 9:22:00 AM
I see eyes looking at my prize... Everywhere, even drones in the sky...Can't you people see...It's only little me....I'm just the same as one of you guys
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 3/24/2017 8:35:00 AM
So that was you up there? ;-)
Date: 2/10/2017 8:23:00 PM
GOTD award goes tooooo YOU lol really made me smile John:-) hugs Jan xx7
Login to Reply
flats Avatar
lim'rik flats
Date: 2/16/2017 9:15:00 AM
Thanks Jan. Sorry so long to reply - still dealing with poopy internet, I have to "ration" my time. Huggerdoodledoos!