Poet Destroyer A Poet Dramatic Monologue

Depression Tendency

**Depression Tendency** 

How is it that I miss you?
I can't stop these hallucinations,
That I'm nothing without you!

At times, I wonder how you've been?
Still I struggle to find ways to let you back in!
You left and took the depressive mood with you
Now how could you leave me with this fake attitude?
How I long for solitary, that comes with endless solitude
Somehow my body hunger for the emptiness of devil's food.

LIFE! Is still an energy, I must waste~ 
The improvement of nothing came with no after taste
I thought I found the perfect prescription, 
"TO MY BROKEN DOWNSTATE!"
Instead, I noticed the world I don't want to face.

The day I released you from my life,
I smiled to see my first sunrise.
I thought that happiness would bring beautiful sunsets.
Instead, they led me into feelings of more regret.
The void of YOU came with potential side effects.
Laundering around naked without my cloak of depression complex. 
Life never found a way to regulate the balance of  certain chemicals,
that lay deep in the bowels of my brain.
Here I stand expressing the best bipolar depression in every way.
Now my sleeping disorder has gone away.
I don't want these symptoms of being sane every day. 

I need that dramatic change in my appetite, 
I miss the way food had no delight.
I'm tired of all this excessive energy.
I don't want the pleasure of reality.
I want the feelings of hopelessness, with no forgiveness.
I want the feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, and self-hate.
I wanna feel the agitation when I found it difficult to concentrate.
I want the thoughts of slow death in a fetal position state.
I need to intrigue myself without sleep or dreaming.
With the concept that nothing in life is worth redeeming. 
Becoming barricaded ~ keeping myself withdrawn. 
With my natural born depression tendencies'
From DUSK  TILL  DAWN!

by;p.d.

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Freddie Robinson Jr. October 14, 2016 at 1:24 PM Excellent poem, PD! Great self-awareness diagnosis for the depressed. Give a listen to a great song about depression, "Rollercoaster" by EBTG (Everything But The Girl.) Such a great poem, I give it the Souper 7! A delightfully creative mind. Love you always.

Len Gasun September 15, 2012 at 11:40 PM you're really expressing yourself in a very creative way my dear friend... i am deeply moved and touched here. how i wish, like you I can truly describe what i really feel....boredom.. anxiety etc... etc... they're all subsiding in the real me. thank you so much for rereading my poems! love, leonora

David Scott July 25, 2012 at 11:07 AM with me its kind of like docter jackle mr hide I know where your coming from here strong peice x david scott

Michael J. Falotico April 8, 2012 at 9:02 AM Hey PD Happy Easter to you and all around you... Just a quick note.. That as"""le Deck is the main reason for my blogs on hate mail, just be careful he is not what he appears... I have gotten some nasty mail from him in FB over time.. to the point where my NY attitude wants to book a flight to Ausie just to kick his butt and fly back..lol.... later gator....

Sabina Nicole December 26, 2011 at 4:17 PM I must say Ms. p.d. I Get It!!! I couldn’t have said this better myself. I really know this all too well... but it’s amazing how the memory of these feelings that you have perfectly articulated and so vividly reminded me of do eventually fade and the flip side is surprisingly satisfying. Which I personally never thought for me was possible, lol... Well done my poet friend... always a pleasure reading what you write. I Hope your holidays were filled with delight ;)

John Aaron Green December 13, 2011 at 10:20 AM just reading this again,,,i feel it this week,,,hey p.d. do you know how i can access my outbox for the soupmail,,cant figure it out....thanks for all you do.....

Don Johnson November 24, 2011 at 1:58 AM only cure 4 the broke down heart, slap down ex lover with the bridle part, catch yeself another horse(lover) saddle up and mount n ride, of course, all through the starry night...

Darren Garmer November 20, 2011 at 11:49 PM Wow.... I embrace this depression with my love and light aggresion... Illuminating your lifes plight, discovering... Strength, courage and might... I love your poem <3 Darren Garmer November 20, 2011 at 11:51 PM s... Belongs in agression... :)

Danny Stinson November 20, 2011 at 11:30 PM I feel this way, too: the longing for the beautiful sadness.

Matthew Anish November 15, 2011 at 4:36 PM Quite a psychological poem. It has power! Let me know what you think of my football poem. I was trying to imitiate Carl Sandburg - are you familiar with his poetry? Peace & Love Matthew Anish

Ashek Rahaman November 14, 2011 at 6:30 AM amzing writing pd .....loved it.

Lizzie Treetop November 13, 2011 at 3:05 AM I am quite sure, This will have the greatest meaning for those who have been there. Oh the despair of it all so missing in life, when it continues on with sanity, without that great passion that fills the soul, destroys content and makes you feel so hopelessly alive. Great poem!

John Loving Iii November 8, 2011 at 8:56 PM this is the best news i have heard yet. i did'nt know what i was feeling all that time. but i do know what came next. a death that brought saddness but i was happy to be sad again. my tears made me alive again as i cried them everyday. now it is time to love again and wonder what comes next. john

David Williams November 6, 2011 at 1:47 PM hey p.d. i think most people could relate to one or more pieces of this very well wriitten poem, except the bit about food for me as i was born with no sense of smell all food has very little delight, unless it is a burning hot curry. many thanks for all of your comments... David

Kyle Kriticos October 31, 2011 at 8:01 AM PD!!!! I am extremely grateful that a great writer like you is comfortable enough to post this!!! I can relate :) It's funny how a terrible state of mind can become a comfort zone, when as you expressed it's not very comfortable! Excellent write dear friend.

Robert A. Dufresne October 30, 2011 at 3:46 PM ah yes ...old habits are hard to break.... comfort zones are vast and varied with the most unlikely things! What a strange lot we are. :)

Doris Culverhouse October 29, 2011 at 2:47 PM have you got those little pills?? maybe I need to take an extra one. hehe

Doris Culverhouse October 29, 2011 at 2:46 PM have been having this state of non-being lately. Life is hard lately....

Sarah Seraphin October 29, 2011 at 8:39 AM * “Here, Lie Down & We'll Talk About It * Lay Your Beauties Head Upon My Pillow * Let Me Softly Brush Your Silkened Hair * There * Beautiful Linda * There * Luv * Sarah.” *

Lisa Cooper October 29, 2011 at 7:55 AM oooooo another great one PD

Jslambert Mister Roboto October 29, 2011 at 4:12 AM LIFE! Is still an energy, I must waste....Very interesting. I dig this take on depression!

Harry Horsman October 28, 2011 at 4:34 PM such profoundness, there has to be a reason Irma, for our emotions, yours indeed is the ability to write wonderful poetry. just got back to soup, found i got third place in your butterfly contest, thank you for a wonderful contest, and the placing. love, Harry

Elizabeth Wesley October 28, 2011 at 11:45 AM Boy, how I can identify - we women are so complicated and sometimes don't understand ourselves. You did a superb write on a state many have felt my friend.

Caroline Cécile Delacroix October 27, 2011 at 7:48 PM This is a well written rendition to express the depency to what we are attached, like a drug, and in this case, it seems it is depression. Well done, p.d.! Caroline.

James Marshall Goff October 27, 2011 at 6:05 PM pd...the natural impression of your feelings connest with all of us here..your original emotion strikes a nerve in us all! ROCK ON!!! jimbo

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