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**Depression Tendency** 

How is it that I miss you?
I can't stop these hallucinations,
That I'm nothing without you!

At times, I wonder how you've been?
Still I struggle to find ways to let you back in!
You left and took the depressive mood with you
Now how could you leave me with this fake attitude?
How I long for solitary, that comes with endless solitude
Somehow my body hunger for the emptiness of devil's food.

LIFE! Is still an energy, I must waste~ 
The improvement of nothing came with no after taste
I thought I found the perfect prescription, 
"TO MY BROKEN DOWNSTATE!"
Instead, I noticed the world I don't want to face.

The day I released you from my life,
I smiled to see my first sunrise.
I thought that happiness would bring beautiful sunsets.
Instead, they led me into feelings of more regret.
The void of YOU came with potential side effects.
Laundering around naked without my cloak of depression complex. 
Life never found a way to regulate the balance of  certain chemicals,
that lay deep in the bowels of my brain.
Here I stand expressing the best bipolar depression in every way.
Now my sleeping disorder has gone away.
I don't want these symptoms of being sane every day. 

I need that dramatic change in my appetite, 
I miss the way food had no delight.
I'm tired of all this excessive energy.
I don't want the pleasure of reality.
I want the feelings of hopelessness, with no forgiveness.
I want the feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, and self-hate.
I wanna feel the agitation when I found it difficult to concentrate.
I want the thoughts of slow death in a fetal position state.
I need to intrigue myself without sleep or dreaming.
With the concept that nothing in life is worth redeeming. 
Becoming barricaded ~ keeping myself withdrawn. 
With my natural born depression tendencies'
From DUSK  TILL  DAWN!

by;p.d.
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