Deathbed Confession

An old priest about to die looked his confessor in the eye: I never violated my celibacy much less toyed with my chastity. Pray on my behalf to the Lord that he grant me this one reward, that I, by special dispensation, convert to the Prophet’s persuasion. Surely my years without marriage merit me some carnal knowledge and has surely made me a martyr, while abstinence made it much harder. And as I’m neither lustful nor greedy, one virgin will do, not seventy.* *Muslims believe male martyrs are rewarded in heaven with 70 virgins.