My Dear Sweet Boy

If anything, please know I tried I tripped, slipped and fell behind I came up short, with empty hands With two left feet, I tried to dance I never fit inside the lines The artist had a structured mind Inside my head, the music played The world around, I would evade I imagined that, it went away To my own beat, my body swayed But there you stood, a tiny spot An itty bitty, perfect dot You longed for that which can't be bought But mama failed, she forgot Though it is a selfish thought Please don't hate me for what I'm not Each day, I plan To begin again A fresh new hand I dare not bend A blank page with no scribbles And hand full of sharpened pencils As soon as the led on the first pencil snaps My fingers slip and lose grasp A perfect package of expectations Opened a moment too soon I lose count of my loose ends My day, now out of tune I've come to terms with lack of luck Deciding things just won't look up I try so hard but for what Now stubborn and bruised my ego is stuck I imagine myself going with the flow Despite my duck's unsightly row And the fickle nature of that we know No worries, my darling, mom will show But now, my love, I finally see That what I'm striving so hard to be Is not your mother. It isn't me It might be the lady down the street With red lipstick and polished feet A fictional character, possibly Someone better, arguably But perhaps I fulfill a different need So I'll pass self love down the family tree