Anna Hopper Poet Free verse

My Dear Sweet Boy

If anything, please know I tried
I tripped, slipped and fell behind
I came up short, with empty hands
With two left feet, I tried to dance

I never fit inside the lines
The artist had a structured mind

Inside my head, the music played
The world around, I would evade
I imagined that, it went away
To my own beat, my body swayed

But there you stood, a tiny spot
An itty bitty, perfect dot
You longed for that which can't be bought
But mama failed, she forgot
Though it is a selfish thought
  Please don't hate me for what I'm not

Each day, I plan
To begin again
A fresh new hand
I dare not bend
 
A blank page with no scribbles
And hand full of sharpened pencils
As soon as the led on the first pencil snaps
My fingers slip and lose grasp

A perfect package of expectations
Opened a moment too soon
I lose count of my loose ends
My day, now out of tune

I've come to terms with lack of luck
Deciding things just won't look up
I try so hard but for what
Now stubborn and bruised my ego is stuck

I imagine myself going with the flow
Despite my duck's unsightly row
And the fickle nature of that we know
No worries, my darling, mom will show

But now, my love, I finally see
That what I'm striving so hard to be
Is not your mother.  It isn't me
It might be the lady down the street
With red lipstick and polished feet
A fictional character, possibly
Someone better, arguably 
But perhaps I fulfill a different need
So I'll pass self love down the family tree

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