Dear Cecile

Dear Cecile, when you upped and left, did you happen to notice that someone had poured a can of paint over the Bentley’s bonnet? and the other curious thing…my golf clubs have been found in various places around the town. I’m also getting a lot of emails from the Swiss bank asking why so much cash has been withdrawn from my investment account, and assuring me of their future loyalty. Mother has been on the phone in tears, saying that a woman with a foreign voice, has been calling her a lot of rather unpleasant names. It’s all very strange; anyway, I thought I’d send you this email, in the hope that you might be able to cast some light on this mess: Incidentally, did you iron a shirt before you went, can’t find any clean clothes, yours, Toby.