Daddy

They tell me you're gone now I don't know what to feel, I once loved you so much I guess now my heart can heal. You were everything I thought a man should be, I didn't understand You didn't explain it to me. I remember so well You coming home after a trip, I would lunge into your arms And you would place me upon your hip. You told me stories, And drove with your knee, I was in awe of you I always missed you - didn't you see? We met again as adults This time I wasn't so blind, Not a child, but grown Understanding now why we were left behind. You were so different And yet the same, Only the alcohol and the pain pills Were stealing your name. I was frightened of you And made myself believe, I didn't like who you had become I was just waiting for you to leave. Then no contact again How was it so easy for you? To walk away With never a clue. You didn't know what happened While I grew up without you, No one to guide us To make sure we didn't break the rules. Then a call today, its July 23rd The day of your eldest sons first breath, And now every year after this The anniversary of your death. Do I have any guilt I believe I made my peace years ago, But I am so sad I lost you Daddy, I loved you so.